rodrikstark's headcanons (part 4)

spike (j. mace x f!reader)

"for a bunch of people handpicked to save humanity, this ship sure is full of dumbasses."

mace jabs the button on the wall to shut the sliding door behind him, landing with a grunt on the nearest stool. it squeaks like a panicked animal under the weight as his leg bounces, a contrast to his dark, slow exhales.

you continue clicking through the health records on your computer. "i am not entertaining this right now."

with you standing and him sitting, he only comes up to your waist when he wheels the seat over. you know he has on his puppy dog look, and if you were gunning to piss him off more, you'd point it out.

mostly, though, you're bored. so you rest your chin on your palm as he asks, "are you mad at me too?"

"fix your shit with capa."

"why?" mace frowns. "he's an idiot."

not for the first time, you contemplate the arrogance this man must possess to accuse a physicist like robert capa of being an idiot. "every time you get into an argument with him, you raise the cortisol levels of every single person on this ship."

not an exaggeration. every time you hear some new commotion coming from the mess hall, you'll note the time on your watch. it's like clockwork, when you check the readings later: a little spike. your cortisol included.

"and need i remind you, james," you scold, ignoring the innocent tilt of his head, "that we are trapped inside a rocket hurtling towards the sun, strapped to a giant bomb that is supposed to save the world." in a tiny fit of your own aggravation, you anchor a foot on one of his thighs, trying to send him across the room. he's strong enough to resist you. "the baseline level of stress is already high, so stop exacerbating it."

mace smiles, all soft and a little dazed as one big hand wraps around your ankle. it makes you want to flick his forehead. "i like when you call me james."

he stands slowly, his fingertips dragging up your leg. bastard.

"i should have kaneda throw you out the airlock." wrinkling your nose, you shrug off his attempts to nuzzle your neck. "apologize to capa."

he dots a small kiss behind your ear. "yes ma'am."