'°☆ lupin comfort fic •°

☆.'°• I ; be a little kinder to yourself, will you? •°'.☆

"you're dismissed class, we're done for today, see you tomorrow!"
lupin shut his book. the students quickly gathered their things and were eager to leave: it was break time after all.
"june?", he gently grabbed my shoulder from behind as i was about to leave the DADA classroom, "please stay back for a minute."
i nodded, confused and scared as i waited for the classroom to empty out. i gulped and kept my bag close to my chest, gripped tightly. what had i done that lupin made me stay after class? once nobody but the two of us were left in the room he shut the door and motioned for me to sit down. i toyed around with my necklace while i was waiting for what felt like an eternity for him to sit down as well.
"you don't have to be so frightened.", he smiled tenderly, "you're not in any trouble."
"wha- i'm not...", i replied, my attempt at trying to conceal my fear having failed terribly.
"c'mon june, it's obvious, you're not very good at hiding your feelings. don't be scared, like i said, you're not in any trouble, i just wanted to talk to you about something."
"and that something would be...?"
"is something up?"
"huh?", i was a little dumbfounded.
"i mean, is there anything you'd want to get off your chest?"
i slowly shook my head, trying to play confused, yet innerly panicking that i had let my guard down too much.
"how come you ask?"
"i had the impression that you have been a little absent-minded lately. you know, staring out the window, scribbling all over your work. you just seemed a little down in general, so i figured i'd check on you."
"oh! no, not at all!", i laughed a little too enthusiastically, my nervousness definitely showing through, "i'm alright, really."
"are you sure?", he raised his eyebrow.
"totally. well-", i glanced at my watch looking for an excuse to escape, "i better get going now. i still have some things to do before my next lesson starts. thank you for your concern, professor."
with one foot already in the corridor, he called for me once again.
"june?", i turned around, "just know that the door to my office is opened and i'm always willing to listen if there should be anything you'd like to talk about."
i tilted my head and smiled to show my gratitude, before i swiftly hurried away.
'that was close...'

one swipe, and another, and another...
deep red blood was dripping from my arm onto the cold tiles. the bathroom floor was strangely comfortable. i was sitting with the back against the stall door, looking at the ceiling. i sighed and returned my gaze to the mess i had made. i tried to stop the bleeding, but it didn't really appear to do so anytime soon. for some reason my cutting session hadn't given me the adrenaline rush i had been hoping for. instead it gave me quite the contrary: i was terribly weary and longed for my bed which i escaped from earlier due to sleeplessness. hence i yanked my sleeve back down without worrying about possible stains and cleaned the floor as neatly as i could. i stumbled out into the dark corridor dizzily and frowned at the way back to the ravenclaw tower that lay ahead of me. hogwarts is already maze-like during daytime, but during nighttime it's even worse. on top of that, my sense of orientation is closer to being the worst rather than the best, so i wasn't surprised when after what felt like endless wandering around, i realised that i had lost my way. i grew dizzier and more tired with every step, therefore i slid down a nearby wall and closed my eyes to regain energy. suddenly, i heard footsteps and a whispered 'lumos' nearby. i opened my eyes and i saw the corridor being illuminated in the corner of my vision. the person that had cast the spell came closer and once i realised who it was, the adrenaline rush i lacked earlier was fully there and i was wide awake.
lupin.
my body tensed up at the sight of him and i felt cold shivers running down my spine.
"june?", he approached me hurriedly.
"ah, professor..."
"what are you doing here at this hour?"
"i was in the bathroom and simply lost my way back, that's all... heh", again, my nervous chuckle must've had given me away, if me sitting on the floor hadn't already.
i got up, seemingly to rapidly, because my vision went pitch black for a few seconds and i stumbled backwards.
"hey there-", lupin caught me, "are you alright?"
"yes, of course, i'm sorry. i'll be on my way now. goodnight professor!", and i quickly walked off into the direction i came from.
"that's the wrong direction, june."
"oh, is it?", i laughed nervously again and walked back, "goodbye now then."
"not so quick young lady.", he held me back, "what's this on your arm?"
he nodded towards my heavily bloodstained sleeve and now i regretted being so sloppy. i hid my arm behind my back and tried to play confused again, though obviously that didn't work.
"nothing of great importance", i tried to smile innocently, despite it getting more and more difficult to hide my fear.
lupin frowned and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"please just come along to my office with me, will you? all i want to do is talk with you."
though he didn't sound upset, his words were enough to make me panic.
talk. did he have a clue of how terrible i was at talking?