DROUGHT

CHAPTER 8: THE "SHE" INSIDE OF ME

MARY

I don't know what is happening to me, but what is clear is that there is a lot of me inside of me, which makes me confused about the real me. It got triggered when I saw how the thug shot my uncle in front of us, which made our emotional baggage hard and heavy. I can't control the other me if they want to take over. It is like they are showing different personalities that make me look crazy. Even Josh cannot recognize me anymore, and I understand him because I can't recognize myself either.

"The drought makes everyone weak."

"The drought is not staying for a week."

"The drought wants everyone to die."

"But the voices will never bid you goodbye."

The voices inside me said, and I don't know if my voice included whispering in my head.

"Pull the trigger, pull the trigger. Bang! Bang! Everybody will die in your hand if they stand in your way."

And remember the man I shot. I felt different after pulling the trigger on the man who tried to kill me. Watching him fall and die gives me satisfaction. It keeps on playing in my head all over. The world is in chaos now so am I. I am battling between the Lein and the other three inside of me. They also want to go out, but I am in control of everything since Lein is weak and scared.

I looked at the eggs, bread, milk and juice. I stole from his house is not enough; I need water. We need water, Lein's children need water, and I need water. So I decided to drive around the corner to check where I could get water while remembering what I had done. I watched the people that we passed by. The world is getting crazy, and everybody is struggling to survive, and I am one of them. The earth is getting hotter daily; the ground is cracking because of the heat, and thirst is the main problem. I remember way back before the drought happened. The people are having fun dipping themselves in water. We enjoy playing with water like a child. Now, everybody is killing each other to have water. We realize now how important water is now that it is gone. I looked at the boy beside me, and he was still silent, maybe because he was still shocked. Soon, he will absorb everything that today's world is different from that we had before. So we need to be tough for Lein and everybody because if not, we will die, and I don't want that to happen.

Lein used to be silent, and she was a crying woman. I don't like her because she doesn't know how to fight that is why I took over, and when I took over, nobody could hurt her. I will be her protector and assure her that she will always be in a safe place.

"Are you okay there, kiddo?" I asked while driving. He looked at my hands with blood and shook his head.

"No", He answered. He was still shocked and scared that he had almost peed on his pants. I saw his legs shaking, too, because of what he had witnessed. This boy is so funny. Why does Lein like him for her daughter?

"We need to find water, or else we will all die," I said, but he didn't answer.

"Oh, God, have mercy on us," he said. I looked at him and laughed and said nothing. I was like that before, but days passed, and I realized that he was not real because if he was, where was he now? Why is he letting his children kill to survive? After the pandemic, we still struggle to survive, no matter how we ask for forgiveness. He can't hear us, but what is real anyway? Even science can not explain what happened. Things suddenly change, and it is worse than the pandemic. I saw burning houses and thieves looting at the groceries, malls and even drugstores. This is the time when everyone will judge each other to survive. I want to loot, too, but it is already crowded because the people are there to loot.

I stopped when I saw the dead man lying on the side of the road. The crows are eating him already. I immediately checked who it was because he looked like the crazy man who owned the turban I was wearing now. I went to the dead body, and the crows flew away. I saw him with no eyes anymore, and he was in the first stage of decomposing. Beside him is broken ground. He is digging for water, but the water under is already dry because of the sun's heat. The temperature was getting high daily, and I felt like we were inside the oven. I looked at the dead body for a moment and shook my head. I know he was killed because he had a gunshot in his head. I can hear the flies buzzing as well. I cover my nose because of the smell coming from his dead body.