The Price We Pay #3 in Merciless Series

AUTHOR'S FINAL NOTE

I want to express immense gratitude for being a reader of this story and coming all the way to this point. There were times when I didn't think I'd even finish Aspen and Collin's story but now, looking back, I think it's very essential that I did. The first book is written in Aspen's point of view in its entirety, so it's easy to think this is her story, and although that might be true, once you come all the way to the end, you discover that this has been Collin's story all along and Aspen was the stepping stone to his recovery. I wanted this story to reflect how struggling recovery can be sometimes, especially when the addiction comes from a place of guilt and escapism, and I wanted it to show the conclusion that while having someone to be there for you -- to save you-- isn't neccessary and also is rarely the case, you have to forgive yourself first in order to be able to save yourself, to pull yourself back on track. The road was definitely rocky because there has been a lot in terms of Collin's recovery and Aspen definitely played a part in that but ultimately, he is the one that made the active choice to get better. Aspen only showed him what life could be like if he let himself feel things again, if he let himself fall in love with life again, all while coming to that realization herself and letting go of her grief. Grief and coping with grief is another big part of this story and strangely, throughout the writing of these books, I happened to lose my dad, too. I don't think the grief will ever go away  but you can learn to navigate it, naturally by giving yourself time to process it all and heal what needs to be healed in order to move on. Moving on isn't perhaps the right word to use either because even now, when the loss is still very fresh to me, I don't think I will ever fully move on and come to a place where the pain will disappear completely. But I've come to find that even though the pain is there, it'll subside with time and what stays is a reminder that the person really mattered to you. The pain is the reminder of love. And love can never be destroyed, not even by something as physical death. Love is always there to stay.