Cillian Murphy Imagines

"My Hero" |\|Thomas Shelby|/|

Yes, this is a repost from my Peaky Blinders Imagines (which actually won't be out when this releases) but there's a reason for this. I am writing a part two exclusive to this set of imagines, because I just love the story and also, I write enough romance and smut with Tommy. It's about time I wrote something else. Anyways, hope you enjoy nonetheless.

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You set down your pen and tried to look over the paper but tears blurred your vision, the words bleeding together into a fuzzy mass. You weren't sure who this was going to hurt more by the time the whole ordeal was over. You hadn't noticed the footsteps come up behind you, not until there was a hand on your shoulder.

"You're making a mistake leaving like this" you couldn't speak, it was taking everything you had to hold back your tears, and even that wasn't enough. "He was going to propose by the way. Tomorrow night, at the gala." A fresh wave of pain shoots through you as the ring is dropped on the table. "Dad will be so disappointed, this isn't how he raised us y/n." That was the last straw. Your defenses crumbled and you fell back into your chair, not bothering to even try to cover your face

"You think I don't know that Charlie." Your voice was barely a whisper as you forced words out between sobs.

"Then why? You were the one who always wanted to be like him, for better and for worse. So why do this, why throw everything away?" You were silent again, this time because you had no answer.

"How can I stay with the people responsible for the death of the love of my life." Your brother just shook his head.

"They're family, that's how. He was the enemy, Y/N, he was using you. You do realize that, right?" He paused, but not long enough for you to interject. "I should really be congratulating you come to think of it. You spent so long trying to become our father that you fell into EXACTLY the same trap he did with my mum. Looks like you got your dream lil sis. But there is one difference between you two. He knew how to carry on with his life. He could be scared, or hurt, and he could carry on." Finally, he gets you to stop crying. You scoff at his remarks, more angry than sad or hurt.

"Have you really forgotten how he disappeared for days, weeks even, maybe a couple months if he felt like it? All the times he took off without telling anyone? How about the nights he spent out in the field? Trips up into the mountains chasing curses? He was always running Charlie. Always. He wasn't even there when Ruby passed." You winced slightly hearing yourself, you never talked about your dad like this, you wouldn't dare, but you were angry. With your brother, yourself, with the rest of the family. Just about everyone. Charlie was right though, you held your father on a pedestal, always had. Because he was seldom there you learned to cherish the time you had even more. He taught you a lot like that, without having to say anything. You learned well by watching. Although so many people, even within our family, considered him the devil, Thomas Shelby was your hero. 

"But he came back. In the end he always came back. You want to run away for good." 

"Why is it you think you can stand here and lecture me about our father when you walked out on him. You chose Lizzie. You chose to leave. I didn't know you for years, wasn't sure if you were alive or dead, where you even were. When you finally came back I was happier just to finally meet you than dad was to see you again, but you didn't even try to fix things." You had stood up, starting to lose your temper. That was another difference your brother had failed to note, you didn't quite master your dad's ability to control his emotions. In that way, you were very much your mother. Apperantly having heard the commotion, your uncle comes back into the office from the bar. 

"What are you kids arguing about now?" He'd definitely been drinking, and likely wouldn't have noticed the paper you'd been writing on. But you weren't thinking clearly, and scrambled to hide it behind you.

"It's nothing Arthur, go back out to the others. I'll be out of here shortly. Charlie was just leaving himself, about the one thing he's good for." You spat at him. Arthur had seen you grab the paper from the desk though, and wasn't leaving without an answer.

"I don't think so. What's it you got there y/n, if you won't tell me I'll have to get Tommy and none of us want him to have to settle this." Charlie is now totally quiet, typical. But this also means it's on you to now handle the situation. You were having doubts about leaving, that's the whole reason you wrote the note, so that you wouldn't have to break the news face to face. You'd never have done it. And there's no way in hell you were telling Arthur now. You crumple up the paper, grab the lighter from your pocket and set it alight, dropping it into the ashtray on your desk.

"It was nothing, really uncle. Come on, let's get you back. I'm sure everyone's wondering where you've gone." You place a hand around Arthur's back and guide him back out to the pub. As far as you could tell, most of the family was in the booth, and so that's where you went. You hadn't realized how obvious it was you'd been crying until they turned to you with sympathetic looks. You take a seat beside your dad, who passes you a glass of whiskey.

"There will be others y/n. I'm sorry it had to end the way it did." You stare into the glass of amber liquid, each ripple distorting your reflection more and more

"I know." You sigh "we spend all our time learning to hate our enemies, but we never think we'll fall in love with one." You can hear a slight laugh from your dad. "No, it's not a coincidence dad. I read something similar on the back of one of your pictures of Grace. It's a good line though." 

"Thank you. You know, the whiskey will help for a little while, but you need to drink it instead of just starting at it." He jokes, wrapping his arm around me. "But please, stay away from our rivals' sons from now on alright?"

"Alright." You let yourself lean on him, finally making up your mind. You were staying, it would be hard, but your dad wouldn't give up just like that so neither would you. He was right, there would be others, and in the end you'd move on. All it would take is a little time.