In This Together

Part 3 - It's Okay. Me Too

    Barbie steps out onto the balcony, immediately tussled with by a gust of wind speeding its way through the skyscrapers.
        "Jesus fu—come on!" she snarls, fixing her dress once more. Verosika is quiet, not wanting to budge out of her moment of dissociation. Barbie silently stares at her feeling confused, but sorry for her friend.
        "Aw Vee...come on," she begins. She slowly steps closer to Verosika, lowering her voice. "What's the matter? Did I say somethin' wrong? I'm sorry kitten I didn't mean t—"

        "No no no...no. You didn't say anything I just—I...I don't know. I don't even know how to explain it right now," Verosika interludes.

        "Well you can explain it to me however you want, I'm a set of patient ears girl you know that."

        "That's a lie."

        "Yeah, well..yeah you're right, but that applies to everyone else. For you Vee, I'll listen. I want to," Barbie smiles.

    Verosika sniffles, partially turning behind her, looking at Barbie.
        "Really?" she asks.

        "Are you cryin? Sit down girl come on. Sit with me on this cold ass concrete, let's talk about it," Barbie says. Verosika weakly chuckles and sits criss-cross on the ground with Barbie, wiping the tear off of her face. "Don't tip-toe. Just tell me everything," she insists.
Verosika stares at her for a moment before looking down at her legs, trying to collect herself. She didn't want to cry. She hated crying.

Barbie watched Verosika gather her thoughts, keeping silent. She watched her sniffle up whatever was left and wipe her eyes dry. She looked beautiful when she cried. She always looked beautiful, but something about seeing someone so regularly aggressive and confident become painfully vulnerable in a mere moment felt refreshing and comforting.

"Um..." Verosika's voice cracked. "Things aren't—I haven't—I...nothing has really changed," she says.

"What?"

"Nothing has changed. I'm staying in my big fancy home now, yeah, I know but...rehab didn't feel any different than life outside of it did. Same shit different walls. Rehab is such an awful place. I remember the first time I went, I really thought that I would come out better. I thought the same thing when I went in a second time, and the third time. They always say 'three's a charm' well I sure as fuck missed out on all of that charm because I feel like I've come out worse than when I started, Barb," Verosika says, curling her knees up to her chest. She turns her head towards the city again, listening to the distant wailing of sirens and cars honking.

"Vee I was there too. Literally, just fuckin' got out this morning," Barbie starts. Verosika lets out a reluctant giggle, repositioning her tired gaze. "I know it's awful in there. And I'm sorry, I shouldn't have even been talkin' about rehab to you. It's my first time seeing you again in months and that's all I could bring up aside from your house," she explains.

"It's not your fault. I'm just sensitive about things I shouldn't be sensitive about, and not sensitive enough about things I should be. I'm a mess, and always have been. I'm not even sober, you know that? I drink, I smoke, I...do some other things sometimes, and it's all just my way of coping with the problems created from things I did to cope with my other problems. I'm sorry. I sound like a self-reflecting sobriety coach right now," Verosika sighs.

"No babe...you sound like someone who's been through a lot and needs some help. Vee I need help too. Look at me—you think I was on my best behavior in there? That whole fuckin' place was a mess from day 1. It's just a bunch of newly sober people trying to figure out how to run a business. No one there knows what the fuck they're doing, you can't blame yourself for not coming out of there better than the folks who were supposed to be better themselves. Where we are...it's profit over people. They don't care about you. But I care about you...and I always will," Barbie says softly.