‼️chapter cw: alcohol‼️
Map couldn't fall asleep that night.
They were laying in a pile of old newspapers and other unneeded pieces of paper behind a dumpster, wide awake. The night breeze was making them shiver a bit, and thinking about Spade was making them feel even colder. They couldn't understand why their boyfriend did something like that behind their back. Well, ex-boyfriend now.
They were trying to understand, but it all didn't make any sense. Was it their fault?
Were they... Not good enough for him?
Their eyes filled up with tears. No, that's not it. That's not true. They didn't want to believe that.
All that thinking and going in circles, unable to understand why Spade did it was making them feel sick. How can someone seem so happy with you just to cheat on you later? To throw it all away out of nowhere? To tear your heart to shreds?
Map spent the rest of the night on softly sobbing and overthinking until they fell asleep.
*
It took some time to get out of the paper pile to face the world again. A week to be precise.
The bar this day was pretty quiet, not many objects can be found there at this time. Map was sitting in the corner, sipping on some cheap beer because that's the only thing they could afford at the moment. Their eyes tired from all the crying, their soul crushed, the thoughts swirling in their mind. They couldn't keep hiding from the world anymore, isolation was making them feel more miserable than they already were anyway. They thought that going to a bar could lift their spirits just a bit and make things better, but it wasn't working.
They wanted to forget, but it felt impossible.
Map's eyes were wandering around the bar aimlessly, looking for something to focus on to stop the thoughts. And then they noticed him.
Yellow Pages.
Map's expression immediately changed. Seeing him didn't make them angry or sad.
They felt pure disgust.
They had no idea where this feeling exactly came from, but all they could feel was excruciating repulsion. They knew this guy could appear in a place like this but they had no idea that could happen today, at this hour.
Then their eyes met.
Yellow tried to pretend that he didn't see that at first, but a few seconds later he was walking straight to the table Map was sitting at. God damn it.
"Can I join in?" he asked gently. Map shrugged and tried to look like they didn't care.
YP sat down infront of them with a small glass of beer in his hand. Noone was saying anything. Map was staring into their own glass, looking at the tiny bubbles, going up and evaporating when they met the surface of the drink. They were silently wishing they could evaporate like that right now, without having to deal with this guy.
Yellow emptied his glass and stared intensely at Map for a few seconds.
"I wanted to apologize-" he started.
"Shut it" Map gritted their teeth.
YP sighed and stopped talking. Maybe he shouldn't have come here. He had a feeling that Map wouldn't want to listen to him and his apologies, but he felt guilty. From the very beginning he felt like flirting with Spade was a bad idea, knowing that he had someone else. But it was hard to keep his feelings hidden. He thought that it wouldn't lead to anything.
All he wanted was to express his feelings and get some peace. And that's all he wanted at this moment too. He wanted to tell Map how he felt and move on. But of course it couldn't be that easy.
"Listen" he started again. "I can imagine how you feel-"
He got interrupted again, this time by Map slapping him in the face. He stared at Map in shock, unable to say anything more, his hand touching the place they hit him.
"You can't" Map said as they got up from their spot, ready to leave. "You can't imagine how I feel. Leave me the fuck alone."
Then they stormed out of the bar, angry and with tears in their eyes, leaving Yellow Pages speechless and unable to move.
