Memories Never Fade! 'A Great Journey!'

Chapter 3: Moving On Slowly.

   As I finished my story I began to sob. It still hurts thinking back to that time. I thought I had moved on already... but I was wrong. The wound was still open inside of me, slowly tearing its way back into my heart. I realized that I could never move on, I could only end the pain by forgetting... but memories never fade...

I held my head in my hands as I began to break down all over again. Magnus was quiet. I could only think that he was frozen in shock. But then I felt an arm wrap around me and pull me. Wish jumped off my lap when Magnus had pulled me to his chest into a soft embrace. I held my arms to my chest as he scooped me into a baby hold on his lap and hugged me. It was calming. I was still sobbing as I put my head into the chest of his hoodie and hugged him.

We stayed like that for a couple of minutes as he rubbed circles on my back. Soon I had stopped crying and we continued to stay in that position quietly for a little bit. Then he broke the calming silence.

" Do you feel better, love?" He said in a quiet calming voice.

I nodded. I knew that every time I had a breakdown that my voice would crack. I didn't want to squeak.

He sighed and rested his cheek on my head.

Magnus:" I know it's a hard thing to go through when someone you love dies. And I know your experience was far more harsh than mine. It's okay to grieve and cry like this, you just have to be able to stop after a while. The more you talk to people about it, the easier it gets to stop crying over it. You will still be sad and cry, but that won't ever change. I'm not saying to tell everybody about it, but you need to let it out instead of keeping it inside. Otherwise it only gets harder."

His words were soft and chosen carefully. I understood what he meant about losing someone. His closest friend had died when he was younger from a car crash. He was right about how my experience was harsher than his, but he still had the right to be sad about it.

I was calmer now and knew that I could probably talk without squeaking. But I chose not to, yet. This moment was something I couldn't forget. Nothing around us worried us. The only thing we were thinking about was each other. We heard nothing but our thoughts, breaths, and voices. It was calming. I loved just sitting there in that position, just him and I.

He took his cheek off of my head and I moved my head up to look at him. He wiped off a tear coming down my cheek. We just sat there for a couple minutes, staring into eachothers eyes. His face was inches from mine. I looked into his deep maroon eyes. I could see that he was calm, collected, and happy. I smiled and so did he. His smile, like always, was warm and kind. But this time there was a difference. Instead of it just warming me this time, it had also made my heart flutter, my cheeks slightly warm from being this close to him, and my stomach fill with butterflies. Why was that? I didn't know. The only explanation I could think of was that this was like what other people said they experienced when they were in... love. But that couldn't be the reason. Could it?

People say that when they love someone they have those feelings when being around them. They also want to be around that person, and never want to leave them. They always want that person by and or on their side. They just want to see that person. They want to be with that person. I thought for a moment as I stood up and wiped off the rest of my tears. I remembered everyone's explanations of love and thought about how I felt about Magnus. We had gotten closer to each other in the past two years. I loved being around him. Even though some people had been slightly frightened from his presence, I always wanted to be around him. Heck, I even wanted him to be around so bad that I asked him to move in! And he accepted!. Every time when I was around him I felt as though I could stare at him forever and never get bored from his looks, words, and his voice. He always spoke so fluidly and softly. Even though it was deep, it sang to me like a lullaby.