𝐅𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐘 𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐑𝐀𝐅𝐄 | Rafe Cameron

FORTY FIVE

45 ~ Honey, Honey

That's it? A lousy letter, then again that's what they were known for at this point. Fucking letters. I had no father and apparently no mother. All I have left, is my brother who is no where to be seen.

I've never been so happy to not be your birth mother.

And I've never been so happy knowing that son of bitch isn't my mother. Where ever she is she can stay there, I just hope she doesn't come back. But I still cannot believe it. Denial. "You wrote this!" I accuse an office behind who seems to be making some sort of notes. He could be writing another note!

He holds his hands up along with the note. "I'm just doing my job, Leanne. I understand-"

"You understand? I'm sorry was your only parent killed by- who you thought- was your mother?" He looks at me in sympathy. This is my life now, living in pity and swimming in guilt that wasn't mine to drown in. Did I make her do it? Because she hated me? Did she do it to get back at me? She did. She said so. It's all my fault, I could've been the kid they both wanted, even if I wasn't hers. I should've behaved, but instead, I was the problem child they despised. Well, she did. My dad did up until she brain washed him.

"Oh my god!" They all jump out of place. "Does Antony know?" I look at all the officers. They look down at there feet. "What now?" I've never been so angry in my life, I feel like I'm a soap opera and a pretty sick one at that. I just didn't think I'd be the main character of it all.

"We went to tell him first," the officers says, pausing, "we told him what happened and he- he through a fit, meaning, he hit Todd- him right there." He points to an officer to his right, oh yeah, he does have a bruise, I hadn't noticed because I was too soaked in tears. Todd waves awkwardly with a thinned lipped smile. "He's now in jail for the night but under the circumstances it won't go down on his records, he's a good kid, he's just angry." My head rocks slightly. Rafe looks just as shocked as I am. Antony in jail, never thought I'd see the day/

I've ran out of words, I have nothing to say, anything I say won't change things. He'll still be dead and I'll still be angry. This is my live now. "Do I have to go into foster care, I have no parents." I panic.

"Your eighteen, so no. But it does mean that you'll have to get a place of your own as technically nobody lives here anymore." My childhood home? Yes, my childhood was fucked up but I had memories in here, even the bad ones. I stand in horror and the worst comes to worse as the day goes on.

"What if I'm in the will?" I resort.

"Then that will be different. Do you know anything he put in his will?" He asks. Yes, I knew some. I knew Tony got 30% of his money, his cars, the yacht and some other things- but I couldn't remember. "Uhm..." I try recall what he'd told me. "He never mentioned what would happen to the house, just his expenses and who his money would go to, that's it."

The main officer nods quickly, understanding. "I'll have someone look for you sweetie," he taps my shoulder- more like a sympathetic tap- "sorry for your loss, he was a good man." And the tears pour all over again. Rafe finally comes to my side while I break down and I let him into my embrace.

"You can leave now, I've got her." Rafe says sternly. "And get that will looked at, anything that goes to Mrs Miller gets split between Lee Miller and Antony Miller."

"Mr Cameron, I don't know if-"

"Get it done." I grip at his shirt as his hand massages my scalp, "or I'll get a lawyer that says other wise so safe us both the trouble." I don't hear much afterwards. But the door clicks shut and my feet lift from the floor. My legs wrap tightly around his torso and he skips upstairs effortlessly while I hold him, probably weighing him down but he's doing a good job of not showing it.

He doesn't try putting me down. I hear the bath water running but my heads tucked into Rafe's neck to look. He puts the toilet seat down and my feet dangle behind his back. "I can't believe he's gone." There's no denying it anymore. He is gone. I finally come out from his neck, keeping my hands attached together behind his head. "Why." My voice shatters.

His hand wipes away my tears and the warm mess of them soothes my sore skin and burning eyes from crying. He doesn't say anything. But he doesn't need to, I didn't expect him to. "Come on." He tips bubble bath into the tub and they start to form.

"I can't." My arms and legs couldn't move even if I tried. "Lee, I got you," his voice, calm and gentle it almost didn't sound like him. The bath was steaming hot, just the way I liked it, it smelled of my favoured honey and vanilla soap. It usually calmed my nerves but... nothing. I felt nothing.

The water sloshes around while Rafe adjusts behind me. My head was lazily rested on the side of the tub so uncomfortably but I couldn't hold it up by myself. My shoulders shudder as I sob, again. "Hey hey hey" he gently takes the back of my head into his hands and lays my back against his chest, his arms wrap around me, "sh-shh-shhh." He lulls me while his hand scoops small buckets of water from the tub to warm whatever inch of my body isn't under the water.

We sat there till the water went cold and I never stopped crying. The worst part was is that I couldn't even get the help from my best friend. I'd lost quite literally everyone I went into this year with and I'm coming out with the one i used to hate, who I now love most. Tell that to my past self because she would laugh.