No Matter What the Cost

Ice on a burn

Gakuhou had barely moved from his desk all night, staring at the broken rubix cube scattered on the floor. He hadn't meant to throw it, especially at his son... the boy hadn't even done anything wrong.

It wasn't his son's fault that he had a failure of a father.

He grimaced, staring at the broken pieces on the floor. He touched his hands, thumb tracing over where a bruise used to be, the one he got when he hit Gakushuu and sent the boy flying into the wall. It felt like he was losing control again and just lashing out like some animal.

Gakuhou sighed and curled his hand tight, a bad taste in his mouth. He should apologise.

He checked the time, it was 6am, Gakushuu would be down for breakfast soon which meant he could apologise then. He rubbed his eyes tiredly and moved away from his desk.

Sure enough, when he left his office and arrived in the kitchen, Gakushuu was already quietly eating breakfast.

He cleared his throat, causing his son to pause. "Good morning."

Gakushuu just stared at his cereal. "...So, you're finally awake."

He went over to the coffee machine. "Yes." He tapped his finger against the counter. "...I apologise for last night," he said, forcing a smile. "The argument with your brother did set me on edge, but I know that's not an excuse for lashing out."

His son's gaze narrowed, practically glaring at the cereal. "...Doesn't stop you from blaming him for everything."

His smile faded, looking down at his coffee mug. "...It was a complicated conversation." The coffee filled his cup. "Your brother—"

"Is a menace and a nuisance, I'm already aware." Gakushuu sounded impatient. "You already complain about him enough—just like you do with everyone. It's always everyone else's fault."

That wasn't true! He... well, yes, sometimes perhaps in the past but...

Gakuhou bristled. "That's not..." He trailed off when his son's glare intensified. "...You're right, I... it isn't your brother's fault." Mostly. "He's still young and I understand why he was upset, it's just... there's a bigger picture he isn't seeing."

"You mean, what you think is the bigger picture," his eldest son argued, still sourly. "And, even if Karma is a brat, have you ever considered, that he might actually be right for once, and you're the one that's not seeing the bigger picture?"

Gakuhou tensed, staying silent as the coffee poured into his cup, the whirring noise filling the kitchen.

The silence stretched on until Gakushuu seemed to lose patience with him and stood up. "Never mind." He picked up his half-eaten cereal and threw it away in the compost bin. "I don't know why I'm even bothering," he said, placing the bowl in the sink.

He stayed silent, watching his son leave the kitchen, and then head out of the door.

Gakuhou sighed as the front door opened and then closed, feeling tired and like he was three steps behind again from where he started.

***

A few days later, he told his driver he'd walk to school for a change, the look on the man's face was almost amusing. He didn't really fault him for his surprise since he always took the limo or drove to school for over a decade.

But, today, he decided to walk, taking his time until for some reason he ended up at the old park close to his house that he'd used to take the boys when they were little...