𝐒𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐓𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬

𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞.

Ziggy

"I just.. I don't feel like I'm in the position for a relationship." I say, playing with the strings of my hoodie. It's a habit I do when I'm anxious.

"With her?" My therapist asks, I sarcastically chuckled. "With anyone." She looked at me and nodded, writing down whatever she's writing on her clipboard.

"And you say you've been dating her for 3 years am I correct?" I nodded and looked down. Don't get me wrong, I love y/n more than I love anyone, but..

"She's great. She's amazing, it's just me, I'm the problem and I feel like I'm ruining us, and she doesn't even notice. She thinks everything is fine"

"But it's not, is it."

I looked up at her and blinked a year away. "No." I sigh.

"Does she still make you happy?"

This was a hard question, because I didn't really know if she did or not. But ever time im with her it just feels the same as when im not with her. Im numb.

I shook my head and the therapist hummed, put her clipboard down on the coffee table and leaned against her knees. "You are entitled to how you feel, and if you feel like you can't handle this relationship. Then talk to her about it. Nothing comes out of staying quiet. And if you really can't handle it, if the talk doesn't help, breaking up might be the best solution for you and for her."

"But I love her." My voice breaks.

"But it's not helping you. Do what you think is right ziggy, this is your path. Not anyone else's."

She leaned back onto her chair and took her clip board, writing more things down on it. I look down at my wrist, my eyes trailed from the marks to the bracelet y/n gave me for our 2 year anniversary.

May it be what god wants.

—

"Ziggy!" I felt someone hug me from behind as a put my stuff in my locker. I quietly sighed and turned around smiling slightly I really didn't want to do this.. "Hey babe." She says bringing up both her hands, cupping my cheeks.

"Are you okay?" She questions inspecting every part of my face. I did look a lot paler than usual and I had bags under my eyes from not sleeping. "Yeah, just didn't get that much sleep."

"No Ziggy i mean are you okay in general? Because you haven't talked to me in days." 6 days ago was my therapy session. That damn session was stuck in my head since I left that room.

"Sorry, my phone is just having some problems." She didn't seem to believe me but ignored it. Like always.

"So.. tonight is my show." She started, then reached into her bag and handed me something. "And I got you a front row ticket!" Right, that show, how the hell was I supposed to do it now.

She seems so happy. "Wow- babe that's awesome, thankyou." I put the ticket in my pocket and adjusted my backpack. "I went through hell and back to get those so you better come." I snickered and moved a hair from her face so I could admire her.

My beautiful girl, my y/n. I'm so goddamn sorry I'm not enough for you. I'm so sorry I can't give you what you deserve.

"I'll be there." I say quietly. She did the loudest-quiet squeal and threw her arms around my neck. "I love you so much." She sighed.