Before (Stan x Kyle)

Chapter 15| What Should I Do?

Stan's POV

I followed Kyle down the sidewalk towards his house. My head still pounding and my stomach still churning because of the alcohol. No! You will NOT throw up now! How the fuck is he so calm about this situation? He literally just gave me an entire speech about love and I came out as gay to him and he seems so so......normal. I walked up to meet him. I glanced over at his face, his red wavy hair sticking out from underneath his warm green hat. He lifted his hand and brought it to his face to brush the strands of red away from his eyes. I felt my face become warmer, I must be blushing. He looked over at me. Shit! Say something so that he doesn't get suspicious!

"Have you come out to your parents yet?" I asked. "No, not yet. I'm not to sure if they're gonna react the way I want them to" Kyle said to me. "Oh, so you don't really plan on doing it any time soon I assume" I replied. "I was actually planning on telling them on my birthday" he replied. "But it's May 13th.........you're gonna tell them in two weeks?" I said confused. "I think it's the best option. I just feel like it's a good idea somehow" Kyle said while smiling at me.

He's so brave. He thinks his parents will kick him out for being gay and he's still gonna do it. Plus he's helping me with all my bullshit and trust me I have plenty. I still don't understand why he's fucking helping me. It doesn't make any sense, I hurt him so much but he still helps me. "Why are you doing this?" I asked. "Doing what?" he replied cluelessly. I stopped in my path. "Don't bullshit me! Why are you helping me it doesn't make jack sense?" I asked angrily. Kyle stopped walking too, he was now paused in his tracks only about four feet away from me.

"I'm just trying to be a nice person unlike you! I don't want to be an asshole who only focuses only on their petty revenge! We used to be such good friends and then we hit a rough spot, I'm still gonna help you because I still care about you!" Kyle replied angrily. He cares about me? I once again felt the blush creep into my face. "Rough spot?" I chuckled manically. "Rough spot! I was bullying people! I was harming people, telling them to kill themselves!" I yelled.

"Then do something about it! I'm gonna help you stop being an asshole which will help everyone who you hurt!" Kyle yelled. There was a pause, I opened my mouth to say something but quickly closed it. "Remember when you saved my life? When you got Cartman's kidney for me? Well it's hard to stop caring about someone who did things like that for you. I know that you're not a bad person Stan, but maybe you are and I'm just being blinded by past memories. That's my fault. I just wanted to have our friendship like it used to be and I guess I just brushed off what you did for the heat of the moment thinking of how happy I was to have you again" Kyle said with his eyes beginning to water.

Goddamit now he's crying. Why did you have to be such a dick to him....again. I feel so bad but I really don't deserve to be thought of like this. As a kind person which sure I was once but now....I fucking suck. I reached out to touch Kyle's shoulder but he brushed my hand away. "Stan, I can't be your friend. At least not right now, I jumped to the idea so fast that I completely forgot about all the asshole things you've done. I just couldn't believe that we had another chance to be friends" Kyle said while plastering a fake smile onto his face.

He was trying hard to not seem upset but I could still tell how sad he was. I always know when Kyle's upset, his eyes loose their sparkle and his voice lacks comfort. "What can I do to make it better?" I asked. I just wanted to know that Kyle's likes me............even if it is just as a friend. "Ask your victims, the ones you hurt. The people who's lives you ruined" Kyle responded with anger lingering in his voice. I nodded my head without saying a word. "I'll go right now!" I replied. I turned around and started to run. Where? Butter's house.

I sprinted as fast as I could down towards Butter's house. Kyle is right, I need to make things up to people to the best of my ability. I promise I'll make things better! For Kyle, I'll do anything. Do I really have a crush on him? Maybe I do? Maybe I don't? I thought about it earlier but but that was probably just heat of the moment. Ya totally, that's GOT to be it. I've thought a lot of stupid shit in the past. And this is NO exeception. I do NOT like Kyle, I just uhh missed having him as a friend so my view towards him uhh changed. And since we're both gay my brain was just like making connections. That makes sense right? Right?