⚠️ TW: Mentions of death and torture-? (There's no actual torture just use of the word-) ⚠️
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His touch, his lips, his hugs are all things Minho longed for — his voice, his laugh becoming nothing more than a distant memory. The way his eyes twinkled with stars everytime he looked at the other or talked about his passions was something he hoped to see once again. The feeling of how his skin would burn against the other's a everlasting spark that ignited into a growing flame, yet that everlasting flame had seemed to dim and the feeling of his touch was only a ghost of what was left of the lingering flame.
They say the first thing you forget is their voice but for Minho it was his smile — something that seemed impossible as the last memory of him carved into the boys mind was that of pain and suffering, something he could never forgive himself for. His screams and cries for help left a imprint forever in his ears yet the voice sounded so foreign, a voice distorted by his mind that screamed at him it was his fault. The way his name left the others lips seemed so simple yet to him it sounded like music, a song he'd never hear again.
Losing someone is hard enough but when it's the love of your life it feels like you've been stabbed in the heart; a pain the boy by the name Lee Minho knew all too well.
Today was the funeral of the Beloved Hwang Hyunjin, or as Minho called him "My Daisy". To others the pet name might seem odd, but to them — to Hyunjin it meant the world. It was their flower, a flower that represents the truest of loves, true love it's not something everyone can find but they believed they were each others.
The first time they met Hyunjin gave Minho a daisy, a flower the latter didn't know the meaning but knew that the boy who gave it to him was special, and for the younger? He felt drawn to Min, he didn't know why but he felt that the boy was who he was meant to spend the rest of his life with. But that never happened, did it?
Yet Minho refused to say goodbye, he didn't go to that funeral, or watch the casket be lowered into the ground, nor did he go to the wake later that day — an action that seemed reasonable to the lonely Minho but an action he'd come to regret. You never want to say goodbye to your loved ones, and Minho promised himself he wouldn't say goodbye to anyone else after he lost his first love: Jisung. A boy that was his childhood best friend someone he'd grown to love taken from him and now his current love had shared the same fate as his first.
It was too painful but would not saying goodbye cut deeper? Minho didn't know but what he did know was that he was a curse, someone who was doomed to never love, and if he did there would be consequences. He didn't believe in magic nor curses but he was convinced he was a walking curse, a disease that spread bad luck and misery like the plague. A disease that had spread to the delicate and beautiful flower that was Hyunjin.
Minho's delicate flower, that would dance with him in the rain under the stars, his flower that used him as his muse creating multitudes of beautiful pieces of art, his flower who he'd bicker with over whether dogs or cats were better — Min sadly smiled to himself reminiscing the memories of him and his daisy.
He closed his eyes as if he was expecting his memories to play like a movie in his head, but instead a tear fell signaling the water gates to open and flood the room. The small watergates in his eyes not closing until he was deep into his sleep. a sleep which was far from peaceful, his love haunting him every waking and sleeping hour you'd consider a good thing but for Minho it was torture, a reminder he stole that happiness from him just like before with Jisung.
The dream like the many that followed started happy, each one a memory or desire he'd shared and hoped to share with Hyunjin but by the end the accident was replayed in his mind stealing their happiness each time. Having to relive his mistake over and over again, it killed him from the inside out, why was his mind torturing him? He didn't mind it though, you may think he was crazy and he might've been but he thought he deserved it.
Torture isnt that bad when you get used to it, it becomes tolerable and to some: enjoyable. For Minho it was the second, he'd go through it all if it meant he could see his fiancé again, temporarily or not plus he'd gone through it once before so what's a second time? So after a while he looked forward to those nightmares almost finding comfort in them as he got to live his happy memories again even if it was for a brief moment, while an unconventional method it helped him accept Hyunjin's death, seeing it replayed countless times; it forced him too.
Although he was still a long way to go before he were to accept that he couldn't of changed what happened and he wasn't at fault. Would he ever accept it? Unfortunately not but his dreams — nightmares, memories stored in his phone and the items that were owned by his flower were enough to hold onto his memory, but that didn't stop the broken boy to long for more.
Years had past, three to be exact and Minho wasn't happy but he was at peace. He still longed for Hyunjin's touch but had found ways to help, found things to give him comfort. He buried himself into the hoodie — Hyunjin's hoodie and took in the scent. It still smelled like him; his perfume but it was close enough, wearing his clothes, using his perfume was enough. It might've not been the real thing but it made it feel like he was still there and to Minho it was everything.
He started dancing again, something he had previously promised himself he'd never do again without his flower. Today was harder than the others it was the anniversary of both a death and a birthday. Hyunjin's death anniversary, and Jisung's birthday but it was different than the others, Minho was at peace and was finally ready to come to terms with both their death — or rather the fact that he wasn't at fault for them, a part of him still believed it to be so but he finally knew; it wasn't.
It was also different because instead of sitting around wallowing in pain like most days, he decided to change how he spends today. So currently he was on his way to buy a slice of cheesecake, to eat while he painted in a flower field, a field of daisies, listening to their old songs. Today, he finally decided to heal but it was also the day Lee Minho declared he'd never love again, he couldn't live to bare this pain; a third time.
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Word Count: 1205 Words
A/N: this was some angst I wrote for some friends of mine! But I hope y'all can enjoy it as well! I didn't proofread this so sorry for any errors! Love y'all and hope I didn't make you cry too much!
- Lixie ☀️💕
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Fanfiction~ A book full of Stray Kids ship one-shots! ~ ~ Any trigger warnings if needed! will be provided at the top of the one-shot! ~ !! I do not ship in real life! I just write these for fun !! ~ I'm open to requests if you wish for a certain ship to be i...
