With You

Chapter 4

When Obi-Wan next returned to the Temple, Cecilia was deep in her trials. Along with he and his Master was a young boy—Anakin Skywalker. She didn't had the chance to see Obi-Wan before he was gone to Naboo again.

Even as far away as they were from each other, when it had happened, she had collapsed to the floor, gasping for breath. Only later did she find out it was the moment that Qui-Gon Jinn had been slain and Obi-Wan had felt the deep utter grief of losing his Master.

When Obi-Wan returned it was the rank of Jedi Knight bestowed on him for his actions on Naboo, and he'd been immediately made Master to young Anakin.

She remembered finding Obi-Wan in the halls after his meeting with the Council. The young boy walked by his side, obviously nervous as he looked around the halls of the Jedi Temple.

"Obi-Wan!" she exclaimed as she quickly ran to wrap her arms around him. "I'm so, so sorry, Obi-Wan." Her heart broke for her best friend, for the loss of his Master. Qui-Gon Jinn was a great man, a great Jedi, and a great Master. He'd spent his fair share of time giving lessons to Cecilia almost as much as he had to Obi-Wan, as they had spent so much time together.

After a moment of holding onto him, she realized he was stiff, showing no real response to her embrace and had his mental walls up as well. She nudged slightly at his Life Force and felt no return. With a frown, she stepped back. He refused to look her in the eye. She took a deep breath and looked down at the boy, who watched on a bit confused.

She knelt down in front of him. "Hello there, I am Cecilia Quin."

"You're a Jedi, like Master Obi-Wan?"

"I am. I am a Jedi Knight. Your Master and I grew up together here at the Temple. He is my very closest friend," she glanced up to finally see Obi-Wan watching her with an unreadable gaze. She gave him as encouraging a smile as she could, then looked back to the boy. "And I know he will do a fantastic job guiding you in the ways of the Force."

The boy smiled now and held out his hand. "I'm Anakin Skywalker."

Cecilia grinned. "It is a pleasure to meet you young Anakin Skywalker. Welcome to the Jedi Temple."

Cecilia stood back up then, brushing off her knees as she did so. Not that the droids didn't keep the Temple floors so spotless you could see your reflection in them—just out of habit and nervousness. She looked to Obi-Wan again, hoping to find something in his eyes that was familiar. "Would you be available to talk later, Obi-Wan? Maybe over dinner? Or a trip to the meditation gardens, perhaps?"

She saw Obi-Wan's brow furrow and he buried his hands further into the arms of his cloak. "I'm afraid my Padawan and I will be far too busy for that. Good day, Knight Quin."

The cool stern nature of his reply left her without her breath as he quickly turned and walked away, Anakin quickly following along to catch up with him.

Over the course of the next several months, Cecilia had to practically force her way into Obi-Wan's life by means of getting to know his Padawan. She insisted on helping him with some of his lessons, showing him around the Temple while Obi-Wan took care of other matters. It was the only way she managed to see Obi-Wan, as he seemed to avoid any one-on-one private interaction with her at all.

One day, she finally managed to catch Obi-Wan alone in his quarters. She knew Anakin was off at a lesson with an instructor, and even though Obi-Wan had kept himself closed off to her, she could sense him in his room.

It was only a split second, but she saw the sheer panic in his eyes when he opened the door and found her standing there. A moment later he cleared his face of any emotion. "What can I do for you?"

She sighed. "You can stop avoiding me and talk."

"I'm afraid I don't know what you mean," he said stiffly, looking away from her over her shoulder.

She was beginning to feel angry with him, and did her best to clear her mind and be at peace. "I'm not going to argue with you in the hall. Let me in, Obi-Wan."

"That isn't wise."

"To kriff with what is wise, Obi-Wan." She said as she pushed past him in to his room. She stood, staring out the window till she heard him close the door, then whipped around. "What is wrong with you, Obi-Wan? Why won't you let me help you? I want to help you grieve! I want to—I want to be here for you. Stars, even just want to be friends like we were!"

He was still standing by the door, staring at the wall. "Nothing—nothing is like it was. I—I don't need... I don't want you to be here for me." There was a pause, and she could hear her own breathing as well as his. Both of them out of breath with the strength of their emotions. "You need to go."

Her face melted into shock. "What!?"

He tapped the wall by the door and it slid open again. "You heard me."

She gasped, frozen in place. "Obi... Obi-Wan, please... please don't do this. Don't shut me out." She pushed into their Force connection and found a solid wall in place keeping her out. "Obi...," she whispered one last time, voice trembling under the power of the deep hurt she felt, before rushing out of his room for the last time.

Only after she was gone and the door shut once more did Obi-Wan collapse to the floor, leaning his head against the cold metal as a tear ran down his cheek. "Oh, Cecilia... I'm sorry."