UNSPOKEN: Undone Realms Book 3

A Little Help From My Friends

Bonus media! Oliver is seated next to his sister, Marylou, in a cart pulled by the family's goat. His older brother Raymond stands behind them. Nolan found this image online when searching on Oliver's behalf for any of his living relatives. The photograph, which belongs to Cheryl Fletcher, Raymond's granddaughter, is believed to be the only image in existence in which all three Teide children are present. It was taken just prior to the family's move west. Cheryl's caption on Ancestry.com states that it is also the only surviving photograph of her great-uncle Oliver Michael Teide, born 1920, who disappeared in 1938 and was never heard from again.

Hello my faithful, awesome readers. Here's where I list a bunch of writer problems: things that I'm thinking of changing, reformatting, etc. This list might get a bit long and nitpicky, so don't feel obligated to read all of it or any of it. I'll still love you if you stop reading right now!

Please feel free to just answer one question, or throw something out there that you've thought of that doesn't necessarily relate to these questions at all. I certainly don't expect you to answer all of them, though you can if you'd like. I will appreciate whatever help you can give.

1. Dialog formatting. Because Clara (and later Nolan B) can't speak out-loud, I've written all of their dialogue in italics rather than putting them in quotes. This worked on Wattpad, but I don't think it works for a book manuscript. For one, it's confusing because inner dialog is also in italics. Also, I'm afraid it comes across as too gimmicky. The plan now is to treat the "pocket realm soundless dialog" as any other dialog: using quotes, no italics. What do you think?

2. Opener. Let's look at the very first line: "You can see me." Did you know that beginning your novel with dialog is a HUGE writing no-no? You are supposed to set the scene first, even if it's just a line or two. I don't have a problem with books opening with dialog if it's done well. But I don't want agents to pass on my story because of it. So, I've been working on a new opening sentense. This has been challenging for me, probably because those opening lines are so crucial-the pressure is on! Here's what I've come up with. It's not set in stone. What are your thoughts?

  Clara presses herself against the edge of a wooden desk while the boy stares at her.

"You can see me?"

As you know, "You can see me" is also the last line of the story (before the epilogue). This is why I'd resisted adding something before that line at the story's opener. But having just one sentence before it doesn't really impact the cyclical feel to the story... does it?

3. Genre. I classified UNSEEN as paranormal here on Wattpad and stuck with that category for its sequels. When I pitch the manuscript to agents, I have to be very clear about what I'm giving them, and I'm honestly not sure if THE FOLD is more paranormal or science fiction. I wish I could just call it speculative fiction because I feel like it's unnecessary to force it into a more specific genre... except that it is necessary when pitching your work. You've read it. What do you think? Paranormal, sci-fi, something else?

4. Target audience. While people of all ages seem to enjoy this story, and I'm thrilled about that, my intention has always been to make this a Young Adult story. Our protagonists are all teens (well, Avie and Oliver do get older in UNSPOKEN, but they start out as teens). I love YA books and read them often. I considered making this a New Adult story, but I don't know. Decisions, decisions... What do you think? Whether you are a teen or not does the Young Adult label work for you in the case of THE FOLD?

5. Getting rid of chapter titles. This is another debate I am currently having with myself. The manuscript needs to be organized into chapters, which is easy to do for UNHEEDED and UNSPOKEN but not so easy for UNSEEN, which was written as a novelette with scene breaks but no chapters. For Wattpad purposes, I divided it into tiny scene-length chapters and gave them names. These "chapters" are way too short for a manuscript. Right now, I've got UNSEEN broken up into 6 chapters (on Wattpad it was 24), and given that UNSEEN is only 15,000 words, those chapters are still fairly short. What I'm getting at here is that I had to let a number of chapter titles go in order to restructure UNSEEN, and now I am contemplating keeping it simple and getting rid of chapter titles all together. So the story would be divided as follows:

Part 1: UNSEEN

Ch. 1

Ch. 2

And so on

Part 2: UNHEEDED

Ch. 7

And so on

Part 3: UNSPOKEN

Ch. 30

And so on

I'm a bit attached to some of the chapter titles, and they were carefully selected, but still, how important are they? Be honest, do you really look at chapter titles and then think about how they apply to the story? Would the story as a whole be missing something if I took them away?

6. Inconsistencies, holes, other flaws. If you've noticed anything that's not quite right and haven't pointed it out to me yet, here's your chance. Don't be shy. I want this manuscript to be in the best possible shape when I pitch it. I don't mind criticism in the least as long as it's done with kindness. :)

7. Novella. One more thing that has nothing to do with this current project. I have a novella that I wrote a couple of years ago. It takes place in an alternate reality (I know, shocking!). This fit in with the world I created in my very first novel. That novel is not likely to see the light of day, but I really like the novella. With a little re-writing, I think I could make it work in THE FOLD universe and I would love to post it on Wattpad, maybe this summer. I'm thinking of posting a teaser to see how people react. It's written largely in dialect and this might not be for everyone. What do you think? Are you interested?

Thank you, thank you, thank you! Last time I tried (unsuccessfully) to pitch a manuscript, it was before I joined Wattpad, I was a brand new writer, and I didn't have nearly the amount of support I have now. YOU are my support and it's going to make all the difference, I know it! Let's take THE FOLD all the way to...to...somewhere where they have book deals! Yay!!!

And finally, a special shout-out to today's dedicatee, @AlysiaDLC12 for being one of my favorite readers!