Chapter 8

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(TW: self-harm, blood)

Ray woke up before Norman and went to the bathroom, hoping Norman wouldn't mind him in there. He sat on the cold floor, and pulled a knife out of his jean pocket.

🔴 "What are those?" Ray pointed to the blade rack in the store.

Emma turned to him, "They're knives that go in your pocket. Hence the name, 'pocket knife.' They're used for self defense and stuff."

He learned then for the first time that there were different knives besides kitchen knives. Sometimes, it amazed Ray how patient Emma was with him. 🔴

Ray twirled the pocket knife in his hand before pushing the button and watching the blade shoot into the air. Turning it slightly, he watched as the shine changed positions in a barely noticable way.
Emma bought him the knife when she saw how enthralled he was with the concept. For "self defense," she said.

He felt guilty for what he was about to do. He rolled up his sleeves, hovering the blade just above his left arm in hesitation. 🔴 Sorry, Emma. Sorry, Norman. 🔴

The blade seemingly glided across his skin in a smooth graceful motion. Blood beads immediately formed on the wound. Ray let out a small exhale of pain, but put the knife back to his arm a bit below the first cut and slid it through his flesh. He took a short breath, than made a third slit under the second cut, slicing his skin.

He didn't know what it was, but Ray had to do it more. He needed to hurt more. In what seemed like the blink of an eye, both his arms had at least twenty cuts lined in between and around the bruises he gave himself prior. He stared at his arms so long that, when he finally stood to wash the blood off, it was so dry he had to struggle.

When his arms were clean, he rinsed off his pocket knife and pulled his sleeves down. All before Norman woke up.

It was a different kind of pain. Ray only ever felt aches from his bruises- from Isabella and from himself. This definitely felt like a step up. It might make him sound insane to admit, but he enjoyed it.

Soon after, he sat in the bed beside Norman and waited for him to wake up and for the day for start.

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