shadamy rockband au

chapter fourteen

as the heat of the competition kicked up, shadow started to come to amy more and more for late-night rants, raging about how stupid the whole thing was.

the contest was really helping team dark and their reputation, sure, but shadow said they were beginning to earn side-eyes from the other rock groups. their old competition used to be just other bands, but now? multiple groups were taking notice, and not all of them were friendly. shadow didn't mention anything about it in his texts, but one night, amy saw that shadow was injured up on stage, less energetic than usual and dragging his leg behind him a bit.

when amy worked up the courage to text him about it, she could almost hear shadow's loud scoff through the screen.

"bunch of sissy fuckers need to write better music if they feel threatened."

as time passed and the band's popularity doubled, then tripled in size, amy would hear shadow getting into more fights with others, even checking himself into the hospital once or twice. amy wondered what would happen if shadow ever ended up breaking his cell phone in a scuffle. would they just stop talking entirely? would shadow even miss her? notice she was gone?

amy was accustomed to being irrelevant, of course, but this thought still stung harder than she expected.

late one evening, team dark didn't have a show and amy was having an early night, a toy vibrating hard on her clit. but not even twenty minutes in, her hungry coos were rudely cut off by the unfamiliar ringtone on her cell. the sound cooled her, but one glance at the screen had her reigniting.

it was shadow. they'd never had a phone call before. ever! amy stumbled over to grab it, turning her stereo off and the toy in her pussy.

"shadow!" amy cooed, smile wide enough to ache.

there was a long pause, and then. ". . . amy? fuck, sorry. didn't mean to call you in the middle of the night. i'm uh . . . a little drunk."

"oh." amy tried her best not to let her voice droop. "who were you trying to call?"

"the pizza place. sorry. it's going to be a long night, and i need some damn food."

amy shifted a little, sinking into the pillows, her fingers tight on her phone. "what kind of long night?"

"oh, don't get me started," shadow growled. "i've been working on this stupid song for weeks, but i just can't get a good melody going. lyrics are more my shit."

amy curled her toes on her bed. sure, the disappointment at getting drunk-dialed had killed most of her libido on the spot, but the remnants of her arousal stirred at shadow's hoarse grumble.

amy licked her lips, gulping the worst of her jitters down. "do you write all of the band's music?"

"sure do. the others help out sometimes, yeah. but all the songs are mostly mine."

"that's amazing!"

"ehh, it'd be more amazing if i could work out just one of these fuckers." amy could easily picture shadow's shrug. "this one is so close, i can feel it. but it's like i'm cursed or some shit."

amy couldn't hold back the fondness in her tone. "oh, i promise you're not cursed. i would've sensed it back at the diner."

"well, that's a relief, i guess." shadow huffed. "actually, that just makes it worse. if there was a simple solution to this shit, i'd be all over it. you sure you don't have a magic spell to fix me?"

"i'm afraid i don't." amy hummed. "you seemed excited about those motorbike songs you were telling me about, though. why not write them instead?"

"why would i do that? we'd never use them."

"you don't need to use them. it's to keep things fresh, for fun."

"fun? i've got bills to pay. i don't know if i've written a song just for fun since i was a damn kid."

"that's a shame." amy bit her tongue. "i only mean- well. you should be able to write music that you're passionate about. even if it's something silly. music is . . . emotion personified, isn't it?"

shadow snorted. "i guess that's one way to put it. you usually this sentimental?"

her laugh was soft as a whisper. "only about things i think are important."

and every single part of you is important to me, though amy decided to leave that bit out.

"well, pizza's what's important to me, right now. so, i'm gonna go fix that first. night, rose."

amy barely got out the words "good luck" before she heard the dial tone. she held the phone close to her heart, staring up at the canopy of her bed, mind racing.

amy remained like that for a long time, eyes wide open in the dark, wondering if shadow ever got his pizza and how the songwriting was going. she had no idea what shadow's process was like, if he was as chaotic in this as he was in everything else. but amy could almost picture it, shadow's fingers picking at a guitar, humming absently, a slice of pizza clenched between his fangs as his mind tumbled away, weaving a new melody.

just thinking about it caused an old sinking feeling to grow in amy's stomach. her hands began to twitch, unease curling tighter and tighter until she finally gave in to the urge to slip out of bed, and find her old ukulele her father gave her. she sat on her bed, tuning it and cleaning off dust. even if she hadn't been able to touch the instrument in recent years, to allow herself to look at it for too long, she still wanted the ukulele to have the care and attention it deserved.

her guilt wouldn't allow her to let it rot.

but on that night, she actually managed to look at it, body wound tight as a bow string. her hand rose, fingers stretching, wiggling. it rested on top of the strings, the most tentative greeting, with her other hand, she slot her fingers into the ever-familiar spacing for a simple chord and then went still.

a long moment, low and tremulous.

then amy strummed, and the most precious sound tumbled from the strings. it was only a simple chord, one a first-time student could play but still more than she'd done in over a decade.

one note, and then she was stumbling up from her bed, putting it back where she found it, and lurched out the door. nauseous and reeling.

the door slammed shut behind her with a vicious crack as she fled down the hall.