letters to you.

• to the cradle of delight •

from my bedroom window,
to the sky.

the last words slip out of her tongue,
she'll never go away, she says.
blooming in the night, hush,
slow walking to the haze.

your responsibility is fading away,
but i'm an ambassador of truth-
with emotions gushing inside, i'll silently lay
night in the bed, beside you

lanterns, they bring me shame
but you're the sun, pushing me to delight
cradling me as you call out my name
purse me into your maiden pallu, lest fright.

my delightful cradles,

            how dear she is to my heart. pushing me to my boundaries, or edging me on a cliff. never was ever wrong. her absence in a distraught, freezing night like yesterday was the reason why she is the love of my life. soft spoken, but you mess with her and she'll chop off your fingers. oh so much pent up frustration, at a wise age of 36. and she'd work for her kids like her life depended on it. i disregard the cradles until they're broken. or worse, gone. she cradles me up, makes me look at her eyes. pulls my hand forward to see all the scars a millionth time. immersing in distress, i would push more agony into her tall body. clinking her anklet as she roams around my house. father is quiet. father is awake. father is emotionally unavailable. but you're a sweet burden. your never-ending stream of pursuit makes me as sick as it makes me inspired. the trust you hold upon me. your frizzy hair like glitter around every corner now unfound at your loss.

        you never appreciate something unless it's long gone.

Amma, this.
Amma, that.
Amma, where is my ribbon?
Amma, you don't even know i hate upma?
Amma, why can't you come to school to pick me up on time?
Amma, you never spend time with me.
Amma, i cry thinking of you.
Amma, i touched someone and wanted it to be you.
Amma, what am i living for if it isn't you?

Amma.