Omae Wa Mou Shindeiru

1: Fuck, Am I Screwed?

A/N: All Japanese thoughts and dialogue will be underlined! The MC for this fanfiction is Half Mexican American, and half whatever nationality YOU WANT!!! Or you can just be a full blown Mexican! The choice is yours! If you are a rereader, you're more than welcome to announce that! However, please do NOT even hint at spoilers!

Also yes, that IS a picture of "used to be [F/n] but he has an official name now"! His official name from now on will be Eli Santiago Sukan (deez nuts)!!! Anyway! Thank you for reading, and I hope you all enjoy this chapter!

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"My sex life is not depressing!" You scoff at your friend.

You and your best friend, Eli, were in the middle of a fucking forest. This is strange for a few reasons: one, you live in Arizona. There are no forests in Arizona, at least none this grandiose. And two, weren't you two... on the way home from a study group?

Granted you dropped out, but that didn't mean you couldn't help out Eli when he needed it.

Well anyway, whatever the reason you two were suddenly here, it did nothing to deter you from talking about the many escapades you two most certainly never had. You don't remember exactly how the topic of interest even got to this point.

But the one thing you do remember though, is that it started with you teasing him about a rubber duck, and him being alone in his room for hours.

"You don't even have a sex life," Eli replies with a roll of his eyes.

"Well, you're not better off, you know," You sigh, standing up from the ground to stretch.

This causes him to tense up in embarrassment: "Wh-What would you know, huh?!"

"I know for a fact that you suck in bed."

You, absolutely, did not know this for a fact. But it hits a nerve anyway, so maybe you should trust your woman's intuition some more.

Eli just scowls at you, but says nothing. You almost feel bad for what you're about to say.

"Okay, so it's probably sad, depressing, vanilla sex with the lights off and your socks on. I wasn't going to bring it up, I swear. But you did use my duck, so I think you deserve this at least."

You reach out your dominant hand to help him up. With another roll of his eyes, he accepts your help so you can pull him to his feet.

"Yeah, yeah. How considerate of you."

You grin, "I'm a fucking angel."

"Is that why you're falling?'

"What?"

You look down at your feet, suddenly aware  of how the Earth beneath you was, well, no longer beneath you.

Gravity hits you like a truck, screaming as you start to fall towards your certain death. But... Why does it feel like you're falling towards the sky? Your left arm burns with a feeling that isn't pain, yet it goes just a s quickly as it came. You shut your mouth, a voice in the back of your head telling you not to breathe in the water, but you were still in the sky.

What the actual fucking hell was happening??

It... it smells like gasoline.

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You wake up with a jolt shocking your body, your heartbeat beating uncontrollably out of your chest before settling right back down. You attempt to sit up, but you immediately stop when sharp pain stabs your entire underside. You yelp but quickly bite your tongue.