Glassy Dreams

Chapter 3

“Mai khud se gum se gyi hu,
Shayad mai tujh me mil jaungi”

Nature had always been Nandini's reprieve. Be it the lush greenery, or the silent cold mountains, or the sound of waves crashing - she always found refuge in Mother Nature's theatrics than the world's. But she had a special affection for water - beaches were her safe heaven. Growing up in Mangalore, those were what she had the easiest access to, and they were the places she sat and contemplated her previous life - her memories of the US, and her parents. For a seven year old, it was far mature than her age, but she had quickly observed that talking or asking about her parents upset Amms. And she hated watching her cry. Rishabh had far lesser memories of them than she had, and to add to that, his attacks were triggered by the memories of the accident, which were inevitable if the topic of her parents arose. So she had taken to not bring it up in front of anyone, and only think about it when she would sit by a shore and write about her thoughts in her notebook.

And right now, as she stood by the beach shore, gazing into the vast extent of salt water, her hands were itching for her pen and notebook. Her mind was a world of chaos, and she was desperate for some order.

"Excuse me?", Nandini turned at the voice, and frowned when her eyes met a pair of warm brown eyes. A woman, probably in her early fifties with grey streaks visible in her otherwise dark hair and adorning a crisp off white saree with perfect pleats was smiling at her. Something about that woman was vaguely familiar but Nandini couldn't place it right.

"I take it you didn't recognize me", the woman spoke warmly, her eyes bright as she looked at Nandini.

Nandini felt her throat tighten and her hands clammy, something about this unknown woman reminded her of her Amma, the warmth in her voice and the way she smiled at her. For one second, Nandini felt like she was really looking at her - all the dark parts of her soul, her guilt, her pain, her loss, her weaknesses exposed to those eyes and how.

"No - I -", she paused, trying to gather her thoughts and shake those feelings away, "I am sorry, have we met before?"

The woman's smile widened, confusing Nandini more. Something about her was giving her the acute impression that she was missing out on what the Older woman knew, "I am Dr. Jaya Shrivastava. I am a consulting psychologist, based in Goa now", the woman introduced herself formally, extending a hand, "We met last year, in the space research meet? You presented a paper on 'Other Galaxies That May Have Life Beyond Milky Way'. It was really impressive".

Nandini felt her chest tighten at the memory as she shook her hand. She was so.....happy that day. One of her best days. She had completely forgotten how it felt to be happy. The applause after she concluded her paper had been maddening. It was this research based on which she had been later selected for the space mission. She remembered being ecstatic.

"There was another of those events last week, I was expecting to hear from you as well. I liked your vision a lot the last time. But I take it you didn't attend?", Jaya prompted, her voice holding no judgment or curiosity. Just an observation.

"I -", Nandini stopped, not finding the right words. She what? She didn't resign, she wasn't thrown out. Omkar was still trying to convince her to come back even though it had been months. He was relentless. But she could not go back, she knew that.

"I left the organization", Nandini decided on the half truth, "And I don't plan to go back. I am sorry for....disappointing you", lately that was becoming the motto of her life.

Rishabh was disappointed in her because she was letting his dream down.

Chacha Chachi was disappointed in her for not taking efforts to mend her relationship.