good parts ;; minsung

five

There was no crying that night.

In fact, there was no sound coming from Jisung's apartment. He had gone home after their dinner — and his apartment just grew silent. Minho didn't think too deeply about it, as he was still happy about the fact that Jisung accepted his invitation in the first place. He enjoyed his company and even got to know his quiet neighbour even better.

Minho sat on his couch, since he had to sleep on it for the night due to Hanni sleeping on it, scrolling through Naver posts about new recipes he wanted to try. He got distracted by a message on top of his screen — floor 7's groupchat was somehow lively. After moving in, he was added to the groupchat of floor 7's tenants. He opened up, checking what the ruckus was about.

namsoojae
> minor gas leak in apartment 7A from this morning has been dealt with
> sorry for the inconvenience

goora_desu
> my son has been feeling dizzy all afternoon due to the gas leak
> thankfully minho brought us cookies, they cheered him right up 😁

samryuminini
> they were very delicious ㅋㅋㅋ

minholee
> ah thank you for enjoying my cookies!!! ^_^

He got a spread out amount of thanks from most of the individuals in the groupchat, bringing a smile to Minho's face. However, there was one reply he waited for the most. He gave it a few minutes — and eventually, a name popped up that he quite recognised.

HAN JS
> thanks for the cookies :)

minholee
> no problem ^_^

Minho locked his phone, staring up at the ceiling for a moment before Hanni spoke up. "Why did you invite Jisung-ssi over, if I may ask?"

"So you'll call him Jisung-ssi, but you'll call me 'uncle'? I see how it is—"

"Just answer my question," Hanni complained, crossing her arms. "Did you ask him because you wanted it to feel like a date? You could've just told me not to come over tonight, I would've let you have your little moment."

"Very funny, but I just wanted Jisung to feel a little bit of happiness," Minho replied, looking over at the teen. "I actually, genuinely want to be his friend. He's my neighbour, so I need to make some attempt to know him, don't I?"

"I guess... but he's really pretty," Hanni said, putting her phone down. "If you discover that he likes guys, would you ask him out?"

"What? No, because relationships are contentious," Minho replied, frowning slightly. "Even if I did like him, I wouldn't convey my feelings without knowing he felt the same. I did that with every relationship I had because I've never confessed to anyone in my life."

"Wow... boring."

"You're boring, shut up." Minho smiled, however. "I don't want to get involved romantically with anyone, in any case. I'm busy with school and I have work every day. Having a relationship will put unnecessary strain on my mental health just to maintain it."

"Hmm... fair enough," Hanni shrugged, putting her head on the pillow. "You know... I never got to thank you."

"For?"

"... accepting me when my family wouldn't."

Minho chuckled, unlocking his phone. "Why wouldn't I? Bisexuals have to stick together, you know."

Hanni smiled to herself, picking up her phone again. "Thank you, Minho oppa. I'm going to sleep now."

"Mhm. Goodnight, Hanni."

•

"Life's a losing game when you don't play."

Jisung felt as if he was losing.

"What's on your mind, Jisung? Talk to me."

Jisung didn't know what to say. The truth was that he had no thoughts. He wasn't thinking of anything. He could only think of the one person who had been nice to him in a long time. Lee Minho. His neighbour was the only one who could sense things. Minho had been effortlessly nice to him, and it had overwhelmed Jisung quite a bit.

"I want something more than restless mornings," Jisung muttered, earning the interest of the man in front of him. "Getting by is so... boring. Every day, I wondered how far away could I walk until I'm too far away from home. I wish I knew..."

"Take your time and enjoy it. Every fleeting moment, Jisung. Life is... unpredictable. One more step, and you may reach salvation. A chance to... feel the happiness you so desire. Maybe the quiet motions are needed to... feel something. Your one danger is feeling nothing."

Jisung felt tears form in his eyes. "I'm afraid that if I find meaning, I'll want to continue living this meaningless life."

"Jisung, it's completely normal to feel so small. Isn't it nice to be all by yourself? These quiet motions are needed in life — once they start prolonging, things get dangerous," the man said. "Twenty years from now, the days will blur. You're still growing as a person — you'll be fine. Look at me. You'll be fine."

Jisung broke down, choking out the sobs he was holding as tears rolled down his cheeks. He painfully drew his knees to his chest, hugging his legs to his chest. He needed someone. He felt useless on his own. He felt empty — not a single ounce of feeling within his body. He felt like a wilted flower — alive, but no longer beautiful and thriving.

He hated what he had become.

"Tell me it is what you miss."

Jisung looked up, still crying into his hands. "I miss making memories worth remembering. I miss the feeling of feeling. I want the days of effortless happiness. I miss the days when I didn't have to constantly and desperately search for a reason to feel something. I... I miss not hating myself..."

"Then play the game of life before you lose."