Conflicted love

chapter 3

after an eventful evening emilia was silently asleep in august's arms. august gave her aftercare and they watched a movie till emilia fell asleep. august stayed awake wondering what she had just done, she was disappointed in herself for not even putting up the slightest fight. she didn't want to let emilia in so easily, to august this was just sex without emotional connection and a mistake. 

the morning came and emilia woke up to an empty bed, alone. she sat up still feeling everything from last night then searched the house hoping to see august but she was gone, she left. there was a note on the dresser "i'm sorry" emilia crumpled up the note then got ready for the day ignoring how much waking up alone after an intimate hurt her. usually after one inconvenience she would leave but this time she didn't know what to do but she was certain that she with her feelings with august. she decided to pay august a visit during her lunch

the sound of aggressive heels barged into the office followed by the secretary apologising, august lifted her gaze from her work she was not surprised when she saw quil standing by the door. she had an interesting look on her face, not anger or happiness. emilia looked content "i'm sorry ms orian she wouldn't stop and listen to me" august's secretary said, august smiled "it's okay, just close the door" emilia made her way to august's desk "ms quil, lovely to see you" she removed her coat and placed her bag on her desk ignoring august then went around the desk to where august sat watching her "so what's your reason for this morning?" august knew she would bring that up but what she didn't know was how to explain her reason for leaving "i had early work" august said shifting her gaze back to her work "work? why are you lying to me?" august ignored that question getting up to go to her file cabinet that was situated behind a little sitting area. emilia trailed behind her eventually sitting on one of the couches "do you not like me? did i do something august?" emilia asked but this time august heard the sadness in her voice. "no, i do like you" she said without emotions. only bc she didn't want to hurt emilia, she cared for her and knew how dangerous it was to fall for her. it would leave her vulnerable, she didn't want that pain she felt after their first break up from 10 years ago to happen again "so why are you running away from me" august sat down next to emilia removing her reading glasses then rubbing her face in a stressful way before looking at emilia for a moment "i don't want a round two em" hearing those words emilia finally understood her reason, she thought back to when she played with august's feelings. she regretted it "i'm sorry august... know how much i hurt you and that was unfair of me and childish. i have learned and want try things differently and make it better this time. i promise you won't take you for granted this time. so i'll give you time to" she stood up and gathered her things before leaving "i'm only a phone call away" emilia smiled then left august to her thoughts.

after that day august ignored her own emotions and focused work. finishing their joint project, she thought distancing was the way forward. there was no longer a reason to communicate with ms quil. she sent an email thanking ms quil for the project and that it was a success. things went back to 'normal', august watched from a distance and found comfort in controlling her feelings once again. emilia was disappointed but she understood that she had hurt august to much to have something together. even though she accepted it she was devastated and heartbroken