Three Day Cafe

Episode 9. Confessions, Coffins, and Awkwardly Catching Up

"Oni needs to say something important to each of you!" The dragon's chocolate-colored eyes darted to each of the three, her face anxious. She sat with the other employees at a table while Sherbet was waiting in the back.

"What is it?" Razel looked at her questioningly.

"A highly emotional confession?" Nathan's palms were sweating nervously.

"Just tell us," DiMaggio grumbled. "Suspense is killing me."

Oni took a deep breath. "Oni—Oni—I am a bad dragon!"

There was a shocked silence.

Oni rushed on. "I am not a good dragon! I am a bad dragon! I am a very bad dragon! I hurt and kill many many many people on thousands of galaxies! I murder planets of natives in Dark Master's wars and drag them to lunch! I help big sister Daemon paint homes and burn things and make good guys scream a lot! I stab and squish natives by myself many times! I did on purpose because want to make old Master and family happy! I had fun because doing it with family and Master Dark Lord!"

Oni's eyes filled with tears. "I understand if others angry at Oni! Others can try punish Oni and yell at her a lot! I understand if Razel and nobody and Formaggio are 'good guys', and hate Oni forever and never ever ever want to talk to Oni again! I am sorry!" she sobbed.

A stunned silence filled the room, punctuated only by the sound of a crying war dragon.

"Holy s***," Nathan finally said. "You just spoke a whole paragraph in first-person."

"I—I-I use first-person when I am very serious," Oni explained. "Very bad at saying 'I'. Feel very embarrassed when say it."

Razel took a long sip of green tea from her cup. The cat woman reached over and took a napkin, then silently wiped Oni's streaming cheeks. "Is that all?" she asked.

"Huh—" Oni sniffled and let out a hiccup. "What do you mean? Razel is angry?" she squeaked in a small voice.

"We're not stupid, Oni. It's kind of obvious why you're wanted now." Razel dabbed Oni's wet eyes.

"You-a think we-a idiots?!" DiMaggio shook his cup of black tea at the dragon woman.

"Maybe if we knew those people you hurt or killed, we'd feel differently about you," Razel explained patiently. "Perhaps they're justified to feel angry at you. But to us, you're our stupid biga** waiter dragon. I'm not mad at you, Oni. Thank you for telling us."

Oni sniffed and gazed at Razel with big, cute eyes.

"Oh, thank god it was only blatant confession of genocide," Nathan muttered. "I was afraid she'd talk about romantic feelings or something terrifying like that."

"Oni does have strange feelings for nobody!" Oni piped up. She had stopped crying somewhat.

"Aw, f***!" Nathan threw his hands up in the air. "I have feelings for you too, Oni! I like you! There, I said it! F***!"

Nathan's face was bright red, and Oni's was too. She directed her brown eyes to him. "Oni would like to meet—meat—eat—I would like to eat and/or mate Nathan!"

"Wait—what?!" Nathan's eyebrows shot up.

"What?!" Razel shrieked, grabbing Nathan by the collar of his robe and shaking him roughly. "What the h*** did you do to her, mage?! Did you slip a love potion in her food or some s***? I knew I saw you put something in her bread during lunch!"

"I didn't do anything!" Nathan protested. "She just asked me to put mayonnaise on her sandwich! You know how clumsy she is! Why are you concerned about that and not the fact she friggin' wants to eat me?!"