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Fire.
I felt fire inside my throat. This wasn't planned, he was supposed to fill that blank in my life.
"I want to go home." My eyes were fixed on the blood that was coming out of him, not demon blood. I didn't know if I wanted to cry, but what I felt was less than what Neytiri was feeling.
Her screams and cries are going to be chasing me forever. If I went with them, maybe that bullet wouldn't have gone through him. Maybe if I was stronger Aonung wouldn't have had to protect me. He would let me go with them and I could have saved Neteyam.
I could have my brother alive, here with me.
The sound was blank, I couldn't hear anything, I couldn't feel properly. I felt someone kissing my forehead but I don't think they said something, or I didn't hear it. I breathe deep, getting out of the bubble I created by accident.
"Where are you going?"
"Please stay here, both of you." Who said that? Why would I stay here? Who needs me here? Neteyam is dead.
"Lìra'y, help me clean him." I looked at her, no more blood in my sight. My friend grabbed my hands. "Please."
"I- I can't. Neteyam, no. Reya, I can't breathe." It's like my brain started working now, my heart is on fire while my whole body shakes like I'm freezing. Lots of tears came out of my eyes and my hands searched for help in my friend's arms.
"Lìr! Calm down!" I can feel her touching me but my eyes are at my brother's body again, his eyes are open and can't see anything. "Lìra'y look at me! I'm here, I'm here with you!" She makes me look at her, focusing on her and her eyes. "I need you to breathe, like Aonung. What does he tell you when this happens?"
I know she is crying and trying to stop for me, I feel horrible making this about me. "In and out, breathe with me,Reya." We do it, we calm each other, holding our hands. "I'm so sorry."
"Don't be sorry Lìr. I understand, he is very important to you."
"He was my brother. And I lost him, again." She hugged me, really tight. "I will miss him."
"Everyone will miss him, but our memories are there for something. You could always connect with him by Eywa and he will be there for you."
I was sad and worried about Aonung. I shouldn't let him go there again. I wanted him here, where I could see that he was safe, with no dangers around him. I looked at Reya, I hugged her.
"Let's clean him up, just a little bit."
We sat next to him for what felt like hours, he was so cold. It made me nauseous, his eyes were open. I removed some hair from his face.
"I will miss your hugs."
I felt Reya eyes on me, but she did not say anything, I appreciate that. She was looking at the demon plane, worried about Lo'ak and her brother. I was afraid of losing someone else. I let Rotxo go with them. How could I do that? What was going through my mind at that moment?
What was happening there? We couldn't hear anything. I hope Neytiri had revenge, she had to.
"How much time do you think they are taking?"
"I don't know. But I hope all of them come back." I answered her while grabbing Neteyam's hand.
Ronal would be disappointed. I'm no good thasìk, I could never be as strong as she is.
We waited and waited for them. I tried to collect all my memories with him. What moments would I like to go back? When I told him I kissed Aonung, that moment made me really happy. He was so excited, and now all of these emotions were taken from him.
