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18, The Call From Inside The House
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When Steve stares at Violet his feelings are all too heavy. When Steve stares at Nancy his feelings are all too painful. When Steve stares at Jen his feelings are all too big. The feelings that come with Jen is like a punch to the jaw. Knife to skin. Nail to a scab. She hurts, but you want the ache. (Fuck, how Steve wants the fucking ache..)
He's never felt what he feels with Jen before. I suppose Violet has a big impact on that. Sure, Nancy shows interest for the boy's daughter. But Jen, she adores Violet. She cares for her like a mother cares for a daughter. (God, this is fucked...)
It makes Steve's head fuzzy and his chest pound.
Steve has come to the realization that maybe, just maybe, Nancy isn't what he needs right now. But, he wants her. Nancy is everything Steve used to be. Nancy was the part of Steve that didn't die with Barbra in his fucking pool late at night.
Nancy still makes Steve a teenager.
Jen makes Steve a man.
Steve is staring at Jen.
He's been feeling a sense of abandoning recently. He's felt it with his home. With his sports. With his friends (who probably aren't his friends anymore. He said sinister things about Carol, Tommy wasn't fucking with that. They're assholes. Whatever.). With Nancy. With Violet.
He can't be in more than one place at once. He wishes he could be. He'd make everyone happy.
He knew Jen's eyes were softly singing to him, take it once thing at a time, Steve. He had started with Violet. Taking her away from his parents home and dragging her back to the trailer park. Then he ended up at Jen's door. Her haunted look from the alleyway plaguing his mind. (He hadn't even been thinking of Nancy.)
