The Red Wedding, well, Blue Actually

The "Perfect" Venue

"It seems a little suspicious that Big Mama is in control of every possible venue we looked at." Usagi observed bitterly. It's not that he didn't like Big Mama-he didn't, as it's difficult to be fond of someone who tried to kill your fiance on multiple occasions-but the fact that there wasn't anywhere they could go to get out of her meddling webs.

"The control of capitalism doesn't just stop in the human's world, mi amor." Leo informed, not looking away from Usagi to hit the elevator's button.

"Meeting her in her battle Nexus seems to have little to do with capitalism, Gorm." Usagi crossed his arms. This had red flags all over it and he was certain that Big Mama was going to capture them, again, but there was little choice in the matter. If he wanted a wedding that wasn't in some alleyway or a broken into building, he was going to have to work with her.

"It's just where she spends most of her time, she's like a rock. Just because we're meeting her there doesn't mean she's tricking us." Leo assured him.

"Do you think that calling her a rock right before we ask her for something is the best idea?" Usagi whispered cheekily. Leo grinned back.

"You're right, how does 'Great Wall of Spider' sound? Fitting?"

"She's more like a steamroller." Usagi chuckled.

The doors of the elevator dinged open and they stepped out to the clamor of the battle Nexus. A fight was in progress and the crowds were frothing at the mouth. The clanging of metal from the brawl riled up the crowd to a frenzy. It was clear the battle was almost over, the champion was obvious. A large bug-like yokai was buzzing about the arena, taking quick blows at the challenger, who was a battered gargoyle, barely holding his own.

Leo and Usagi ignored the battle for the most part, Leo taking peeks at the ring where he was once champion, the desire to reclaim his former glory called him to the tournament. Big Mama sat on the luxurious sofa they walked up to, her disguised self displaying no signs of deceit. When she noticed them, she greeted them warmly.

"Turtlie-boo! Bunny-bear!" She cooed, the nicknames they didn't want bouncing out of her mouth, her exaggerated accent accentuating each syllable. She stood up and gave them each a hug and kiss on the cheek. It must've felt weird, going from scaly skin to a furball. If it bothered her, she gave no indication, always a master of composure.

"I was just checking that the battle was a real rabble rouser before our meeting," She pip-pipped and cheerio-ed her way past the grooms to gesture at the droning crowds "Perfect timing, boys, it looks like the match is finishing up. We'd best be on our way to the first venue!"

She made her way to a doorway that two guards stood on each side of.

"Come along, you two, we haven't got all day!" She called out, with a jovial skip in her step.

The grooms glanced at each other, unsure of being caught in a trap, but sure there was no other way to get a proper venue. With heavy sighs and mentally preparing for a fight, they followed her through the door. If they were getting captured they'd never hear the end of it from Splinter.

Surprisingly, they were not jumped by heavily armed guards and forced to be Nexus clowns, instead, Big Mama led them to what seemed to be a spa room. There were lit candles on a porcelain countertop and a myriad of colored glass bottles on shelves, scattered around the room. A waterfall came from the leftmost wall, pooling in a bubbly puddle on the floor. The water from it reached each corner in the room. Looking into the water, it was clear that it wasn't a puddle, but a deep pond. Glowing fish with tendrils floating around them, like the moons of a planet, pecked at the pillars of bubbles. Seaweeds of various colors wound their way to the surface and gently rocked in the current.