The Red Wedding, well, Blue Actually

Say Yes to the Dress

"God, this sweater is itchy!" Leo whined. He was wearing an oversized brown cable sweater. A grey fleece scarf was wrapped around his head and neck. He was wriggling underneath the sweater, scratching at the stray fibers.

"Cut that out, would you?" Mona Lisa snapped down at the writhing turtle. "We're trying to go unnoticed, remember?"

She and Leo were making their way down a bustling street within the outskirts of the hidden city, two days away from the wedding. Leo would never be able to walk those streets without the disguise like the one he wore, being a wanted criminal. One would think that after saving the world so many times that he would be pardoned from his crimes, but no. The hidden city judicial system shows clemency to no one.

Mona Lisa, well-versed in avoiding attention thanks to being the smallest and thus easiest to pick on in her clutch of siblings, had Leo dress in clothes to hide anything that could be used to identify him. After growing up in the hidden city, she was well aware of the incompetence of the police force. Being labeled a criminal in the hidden city was the equivalent of being called a loudmouth. No one took any mind to criminals, as most were just innocent citizens the police mistook for a real criminal or were caught doing "suspicious activities" such as going for a run past dinnertime or not feeding your pet when it demands a treat. Anything that could be considered peculiar would make someone a suspect, which didn't mean much when there was no investigation and follow through.

Mona Lisa had grown up wanting to improve the police force, but as she came to learn, it was a lost cause, especially since she was dating someone who was commonly mistaken for a wanted criminal. Instead she attempted to be a private investigator, to actually solve crimes instead of whatever it was the detectives of the hidden city did instead. To her confoundment, people were either unbothered by criminal activity or dealt with it themselves; vigilanties were commonplace throughout the city. There was no need for a private investigator. The excursion left Mona Lisa disheartened, but with a cross-disciplinary understanding of crimes and how to get away with them. This included why they were going into town at such a busy time.

"Come on, you can't stick me in this stuffy thing and expect my silk-trained skin to go along with it! I can feel myself getting eczema. That's for sure a rash!" Leo groaned, pulling on the shoulders of the sweater so it wasn't touching as much of his skin and stealing a glance under it.

"Aww, poor you. Did living in the sewers give you a taste for luxury?" Mona cooed, giving a mocking pouty face. "All that sparkling sewer water really did wonders on your complexion, is it the sewage alone that gives it that green shade or did you stand by some radioactive garbage too?"

"I'll have you know that this clear skin is all natural, baby," Leo strutted like he was on a catwalk, a turtle walk. "Courtesy of good ole' dad and some ooze!"

"Luxury indeed," Mona Lisa mumbled to herself as she looked out at the shops they walked past and across the street. Tons of two or three story buildings with curious makings stood on either side of the crowded street. A few carts, pulled by a mystic creature or a vendor, cut through the people, creating pockets that were quickly filled by those looking to have a breath of fresh air. She searched for the shop they were headed to, all her sister said it was yellow and that they'd know it when they saw it.

In her family, Mona Lisa wasn't considered tall, but in public she towered over most people. Extending her neck to see as far as she could, Mona caught a glimpse of a yellow-faced building, just a few blocks down. With her birds-eye-view she could see the tops of people's heads, their bald patches or the spot of hair they missed when brushing. Looking down at Leo he reminded her of a moldy old bun. The green of his face poking out did not help. To tell him so would be to have him start a roast on her and her Minnesota Vikings color palette of a coat, so she kept quiet.