The Walls We've Built - ◈ ARMIN ARLERT X OC ◈

Chapter 16 - Exhaustion

Hi Guys! Just a heads up there is a small time skip in this chapter, after Zariya and Eren's conversation it skips the whole part when the 2 titans come after the scouts and they have to discard all the dead bodies. This chapter begins when they are riding back after they stopped the second time and are about to enter the walls again. That's all for now, hope you guys enjoy!

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After being confronted by the sight of watching our fallen soldiers get sacrificed for our survival, I look blankly ahead at the daunting walls getting bigger and bigger. We return home with nothing but blood on our hands and dead bodies to show for our struggles, nothing. I ride Altas emotionlessly among my comrades in silence, next to me Armin rides his horse with his head down staring at its main, on my other side Jacob and Gen quietly talk to each other. I feel both relieved and disheartened as the gates rise, I see all the citizens of Karanes gathered on either side of the road as the scouts slowly pour through the gate.

My muscles ache as I adjust my position on my saddle, I look up at the opened gate as I pass under it. Only this morning I went under this gate filled with adrenaline and excitement, but now I have seen the reality of what it's like for scouts outside the walls. I rip my eyes away from the gate and pull my hood over my head, the clatter of our horses' hooves on the pebble street is the only sound. As we make our way down the path I hear the locals whispering to each other. Their hate filled comments and remarks sting but I am too tired, too weak to do anything but hide beneath my hood. The comments continue as we ride through Karanes, and my patience is starting to run thin. The memory of being among this crowd with my father crawled into my mind and his distasteful comments that were always directed at the scouts, a group I wasn't a part of. But here I am so many years later having those same hate filled comments being spat at me and my comrades.

Armin notices my change in body posture and attitude, he leads over to me whispering in my ear, "Ignore it, their comments are meaningless. It's coming from people who know nothing more than what is on the back of their own hand." He says in a soothing tone, I nod my head but remain irritated. He gently removes the hood that is covering my face before stating, "Don't hide your face, you are an honourable member of the scouts that was able to not only survive but contribute to today's wins." in an encouraging tone making me smile. I look at him, his face is centimetres away from mine as his ocean blue eyes stare back into mine, we remain that way for a moment before a loud obnoxious man yells making us both look over in his direction. An odd feeling settles in my stomach as I look away from Armin making my cheeks rapidly heat up.

The man laughs "Our taxes at work ladies and gentlemen, bravo!" And that's when my patience runs out, I drop the reins, knowing Atlas wont go anywhere and go to dismount him. I feel Armin wrap his hand around my waist stopping me from lowering myself any further "Zariya, leave it." He whispers quietly trying to calm me down. I shoot him a look but quickly realise he is right, these people aren't aware of the traumatic things we saw past these walls today. 

I look back at the pitiful man who spat the comment at us, he doesn't know what it's like out there, and it's not his fault that he is uneducated. I glance over at Mikasa and her bright red scarf, her hand is resting on Eren's shoulder as he looks over at the same man, agitated. He snaps his head in my direction looking directly over at the man, his furious emerald green eyes meet mine but his expression suddenly changes softening. Without communicating we both know what each other are thinking about, I gently smile at him acknowledging how he feels and he does the same in return.

His head drops back down and I can hear his faint sobbing as we continue riding through Karanes. I look down at my horse trying hard not to cry, the knot in my throat makes it extremely hard but I hold back my tears. Don't get emotional Zariya, crying is for the weak and the last time you were weak was when you left Nick to die. I breathe shallowly waiting for the storm of emotions to pass, avoiding eye contact with everyone because if one person I care about was to look at me now the storm would swallow me whole.

We continue on our horses until we are well and truly out of Karenes, the last light of day lingers in the cloudless sky as we approach the castle we had been stationed at before the exhibition. A relieved sigh escapes my mouth as we reach the stables, I dismount Altas caressing his mane and lead him to the other horses. Rummaging through my pocket for a sugar cube, but all I find is a pile of crumbled sugar pieces. I give it to him anyway as a reward for his hard work today. If I'm exhausted I can't imagine how tired he must be. He nuzzles his mouth in my hand eating the sugar. I smile to myself seeing him so content and unphased by today, I always make sure I have some type of treat on me for him. I wish I had something like that to make me forget everything I'm worrying about, even if it's only for a short amount of time.

"Are you sure your head is ok Armin? I can fetch you some new bandages if you need!" Krista exclaims following Armin as they walk past me, Armin catches my gaze with a kind smile. "No it's really fine Krista, I'll deal with it after." Armin replies but keeps his eyes on me. I feel someone link arms with me, looking over I see Gen dragging me forward followed by Jacob. Armin and Krista continue to walk in front of us and we follow not far behind. While still linking arms with Gen I blankly look down at the ground as they have their own conversation, "Hey guys!" I hear Krista call ahead of us, making me look up. She is waving to Reiner, Jean, and Rosette who is already jogging towards us. I smile as she approaches happily to see another familiar face, "You all alright? It was a bit of a mess back there." I call as Jean and Reiner catch up, "Well we're alive so yes." Jean responds bluntly. I glare at him before rolling my eyes, I turn away from him to go inside and sleep, sleep until my body can't stand another minute of it.

Captain Levi appears in front of me making me jolt up, my body stiffens unsure of what to do or where to go. I am only a couple centimetres taller than him, but he could be the size of a mouse and I still would be intimidated by him. He looks at me blankly waiting for me to do something, eyes the people behind me. I realise he is waiting for me to move, I quickly pivot on my feet and step back to Jacob and the others. He looks at us all individually but skims over Jacob and I, we share confused looks before looking back at the Captain. "You six." He instructs, pointing at me and follows down the line of people to Reiner, "unsaddle, line up and feed the horses." I feel my shoulders drop in exhaustion, I am too tired to walk let alone the tedious activity of settling the horses for the night.

"What about us Captain? We're here too." Gen asks on the other side of Jacob confused. "I didn't give you the order, so go inside." Levi responds bluntly. "But-" Jacob begins his protest but receives unsettling death stares from both Gen and Captain Levi. Grabbing his arm Gen leads Jacob up the lantern lit walkway to the castle followed by the Captain. I smirk to myself, only Jacob would protest getting to rest while the rest of us are stuck out here. I drop my head, allowing my fringe to fall in front of my eyes. I hold back a yawn hiding my face in my elbow before trying to blink myself awake. I follow the others back to the horses, I guess sleeping will have to wait a little bit longer.