Burning Heart // CL16

Twelve

"Alessia, can you follow me?" Someone from the media team asks as we were hanging out in the garage before heading to the insane party that was due to occur outside the stadium in the next hour and I give Kiraz, Isa and Carlos an apologetic look before nodding at the girl.

"I'll be back asap," I promise and they nod, waving me off absentmindedly as they continue with their conversation on the weird podium celebrations. It's only Kiraz who watches me more critically as I follow the media girl down some corridors, faltering in my step lightly when I realise where we're headed. "Er, why?" I just question when it's just us and she shrugs.

"I don't know - he just asked for me to find you when we got back from media," she confesses and I nod nervously as I look back over my shoulder, hoping through some miracle that I might be able to get Kiraz's attention through the many walls between us. I knew I should say no now that I knew what was going on but to her, to someone from the team that seems a bit like an obvious way to start a rumour. A few moments later I was outside Charles' door and by myself as she had promptly walked away from me the moment she pointed to it.

Clearly she didn't want to know what was going on.

Very different from me who was desperate to know because I was more confused than ever while also being a bit afraid to knock on the door and find out. Today had been confusing, I'd seen the way he had reacted to Jaylen and me earlier, I could see that he didn't like it and I was trying to ask myself why it bothered me. Why it excited me... I liked Jaylen, he was nice... but I already knew the answer to that dangerous question because it was clear he didn't have the same effect on my senses as Charles. No one else had ever had this much of an affect on me and so even though I knew I couldn't have him, that we had agreed on being friends... that want for him wasn't fading - no matter how much I tried to tell myself that it was. I was officially stumped on what to do. It felt like the only solution was to stay away but given that we were at the tracks almost every weekend, that option seemed like a total no-go.

Going into this room right now felt like it was going to be a huge mistake waiting to happen but despite knowing this, I couldn't help myself. I had to see what was going to happen next and there was a painful awareness on my part of not wanting to disappoint him despite everything. He'd wanted to see me, he'd asked for me...

I'd never had that before... my entire life I'd been unwanted by Christian and so yes... even I could see where the potential daddy issues were clouding my already rather murky judgement. I was wanted... and by someone that I wanted and I just wanted to talk to him and check that he was okay.

I raised my fist and knocked, before I could even bring it down for the second time, the door was open and a familiar hand wrapped around my wrist and pulled me in, checking the hallway like he had last time to make sure no one saw me. "You literally asked someone to bring me here...are you really checking the hallway?" I ask and he nods as he closes the door, slightly sheepish as he does so but a smile on his face despite this. An infectious one that causes me to chuckle along with my words.

"Lucia won't tell anyone," he says confidently and I eye him warily, taking in his simple black jeans and white t-shirt look, bracelets and such returned after the race before I look around the room, similar but different to the motorhome one in Europe. I eye Charles confused before simply sitting down on the sofa and watch as he stays by the door, almost looking as lost as me despite being the one to organise this rendezvous. "Hi."

"Hi?..." I let the word exit me slowly as I look at him clearly waiting for an answer as to why I'm here but I don't get it as his eyes run over my body a couple of times more as he takes in where I'm sat as though he's reassuring himself that I'm here.

"Hi..." he says a little breathlessly and a smirk comes onto my face at his words as I raise my eyebrows and he blinks rapidly as he realises what has happened and coughs slightly. "Sorry, I just wanted to gather myself before the party..." he says as though that's explanation enough and clearly my face translates that isn't the case.