im learning to understand that there is much grief in healing
much of it is abundant sorrow
much of it doesn't feel like healing, only pain
much of it is salty tears that coat my pillow case at night
much of it is stuffy noses from congested thoughts and entangled memories
much of it is puffy eyes from silently weeping
much of it is cocooning in sheets and layers of withdrawal
much of it is dreary days and longer nights
much of it is drowning out thoughts and flashbacks with audiobooks and music
much of it is living with staticky background noise to cancel out the flashbangs of flashbacks
much of it is restless tossing turned into haunted slumber
much of it is drifting to sleep with an empty stomach
much of it is waking up to swallow down the acidic bile of loneliness for breakfast
much of it is self-medicating with placebo pills of hopes of better days to come
much of it is swapping time with sleep, an endless limbo slumber
much of it is waiting for the what ifs? and maybe whens...
much of it is so much disappointment
all of it is melancholy
YOU ARE READING
thoughts at 4 am
Poetrythose random thoughts that keep you up at night as you toss and turn, putting up your fight
