"Not like we have a date with destiny
It's just (aah) a little crush (crush)
Not like I faint every time we touch
It's just (aah) some little thing (crush)
Not like everything I do depends on you
Sha-la-la-la, sha-la-la-la
It's raising my adrenaline
You're banging on a heart of tin
Please don't make too much of it baby"
Do you know what I did last night? I listened to Billie Eilish and cried myself not to sleep. I stayed up and did not comb my not-ginger hair because I was under the covers with my headphones on, scrolling through Instagram but on the dark part of Instagram because I'm not like the other girls. I saw reels of manliness because whenever I hung out with my guy friends, which was almost always, they always watched boy things.
And then he texted me. Sword Lawn texted me and said "how you doing?" I am ashamed to admit that I did squeal---I mean, you didn't hear that from me! Honestly, I tried to text him the same way that I texted Agnostic or Chimera or Peanut, even though I didn't talk to him all that much anyway.
Me: good, you?
It barely took a millisecond for him to respond.
Him: same
At this point, I gave up, and, curling my too long, too-not-ginger hair, I called Notirene. She picked up relatively quickly because she wasn't like the other girls either. She actually had a sense of human manners to not leave someone hanging like those cheerleaders who probably all were backstabbers to each other.
"Hi."
"Hi."
Honestly, I had no idea what to say. I mean, what do you tell your friend when a guy finally notices you and likes you because of the fact that maybe you're not a pretty cheerleader who goes to parties and has a love life? I mean, come on, I was wearing a Queen jacket! (an: deep breath in. I LOVE FREDDIE MERCURY, AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO ADMIT IT.)
"Help he texted me," I said humbly. Notirene was barely quiet for a second before I could hear her jumping up and down.
"Oh my god! Oh my god! What did he text!"
"He texted hi. And asked me how I'm doing. Is this flirting because basically all the guys I hang out with do this---" I was just telling the truth when she cut me off. Girls, amirite?
"Shut up. He's totally into you. Anyway, you should start the conversation..." I got bored around halfway through when Sword texted again. Again. Again. Maybe it was a dare. Or maybe it wasn't. This was the first time in a while when I couldn't automatically read a guy's mind. You know, since I'm practically one of the guys.
Him: what's your name?
Me: Notlilly
Him: cool that's my sister's name
Me: cool
I was ashamed to say that I was smiling at my phone.
