Faking It

Chapter 43: Finishing What We'd Started

I had no choice but to spill the whole thing when Gyeong-Ja and Audra found me in our dorm room. There was no hiding the huge sobs that wracked my entire body, just like there was no hiding the fact that Theo had deleted every last iota of our relationship from his Instagram. The swiftness of it cut deeper than the actual deletions—as if it had all meant so little to him that he hadn't even hesitated to sweep me under the rug. Where I belonged, apparently, if William and his mother was to be believed.

Gyeong-Ja had taken my phone away when a text from Jake—Hope it went well. Love you, El—set me off again right before dinner. I wanted to turn back time. I wanted to go back to those few, precious, magical days at home. Away from Kingsbridge. Away from William. Away from everything that had torn us apart.

But there was no going back from this. Not when Theo never came to dinner, and then completely ignored my attempts to talk to him at breakfast. He didn't even look at me, and then left me on read when I poured what little was left of my heart out the next night.

William caught me by surprise. I never wanted that.

I wanted you.

What we had was real.

All of it was real to me.

I meant to tell you at Thanksgiving, but I didn't have the courage.

I'm sorry.

I spent the next night sobbing on the phone to Jake, who insisted that I keep trying to talk to Theo. But it was of no use. Not after I'd tried again that day at lunch, only for Connor to burst into laughter at my brimming tears and tell me to get lost.

"He's not interested, Red. Leave him alone. It's getting pathetic," he'd said as he lounged at their lunch table, while Giselle and Emma looked on with glee. Theo simply stared down at his food, once again ignoring me.

It came as no surprise that I failed my history pop quiz. And after I'd bailed on my Tuesday tutoring with William, I was expecting Mr. Harris' warning email about how my paper outline was woefully insufficient. But I'd been avoiding William as thoroughly as Theo had been avoiding me because it was all I could do not to march over and slap him whenever I saw him. He sauntered around campus, arm slung across Madeleine's shoulders, clearly aware of all the pain he'd caused and not seeming to care one bit.

It was only thanks to Audra that I didn't actually throw fists when he sidled up to me between classes on Friday. She shoved herself between us when William had the nerve to tell me that he was feeling generous and wouldn't tell Mr. Harris that I'd skipped another tutoring session.

"Like I'd ever be caught dead in the same room as you again," I snarled.

"You won't pass history without me," he said, a hint of that cruel smile lifting his lips. "And I'm pretty sure you need to if you want to keep that scholarship."

The choice words that burst from my lips made the entire hallway turn and stare until Audra wrestled me into the bathroom.

"Is that true?" she demanded, once I'd calmed down enough to unclench my fists and splash some water on my face. Gyeong-Ja had hurried in from the physics lab the moment she'd caught wind of my outburst.

"Kind of," I mumbled miserably. "I have to pass the paper to have any hopes of passing the class."

"When's it due?" Gyeong-Ja asked, worrying her blazer cuff.

I blew out my cheeks. "Next week."

Audra swore. "That's before the finals. If Harris grades it and puts you on academic probation before the game, you're benched."