just some experiences I had that I wanna talk about..

the worst pool day

I was 8 at this time and my parents are divorced so every summer me and my younger sister would go to my father's house for a month or 2.

Oh how I loved it there atleast...I used to live it there I have a step mom she's a nice lady but she doesn't really like me.

I have 2 other siblings their my step siblings my younger brother and my youngest sister I have about 4 sisters and 1 brother but my other 2 sisters only go to our house every other weekend since they are my step dads kids but that's besides the point.

I used to love going into my father's pool it was big and deep and my step mother would always buy new pool floats for us mainly because my youngest sister and my brother would always fight but it was nice.

I was a angry child at that time maybe it's why my step mom disliked me but I wasn't difficult yea I would yell and cry but I wasn't picky or messy like my other siblings I mean all my brother did was play Fortnite and eat pizza bagels and they would all throw fits and tantrums but it was always my fault the oldest kid oh -my name- why didn't you tell your little brother to turn his x-box off or -my name- why do you always seem angry suck it up and be happy.

But I remeber the day I grew to regret and hate at the same time..

I was in the pool minding my own business just staring at the trees and my brother had gotten a squirt gun he was playing with it and he then turned his attention to me..

My two other sisters were playing with lol dolls near us on the trampoline so it was just me and my brother in the pool he started to squirt water at me..I told him to stop after I few more times of me telling him stop and him nor listing something in me broke and a wave of anger pushed against me.

I began to hit him..I ripped the squirt gun away from him a started hitting his arms with it I was so angry I didn't know what I was doing I wasn't thinking the water was turning red with his bloody nose and him trying to punch me and kick me I was much stronger than him my 2 other sisters came in and started screaming for help I finally saw what I did after I did it he stood there crying blood all over the pool water my step mom ran outside and saw what I did.

I ran upstairs crying I loved my brother I would never have thought I would do this I rushed into my bed looking at the hands I used I could hear the phone call my step mother made she was yelling at my dad to come home immediately and take care of me or she would have to call the police.

My dad screamed and hit Mr then...he locked me in my room for a week my youngest sibling forgave me quickly and brought me food from dinner or lunchables she was only 4 at this time my biological sister slept down stairs for the week she didn't wanna even look at me.

My brother was immediately taken to the docter once my dad got home.

If your wondering about home I got to the bathroom y'know those keys in some houses you use to lock doors in that house well that's how I got out my youngest sister stole one from my dad's room and gave it to me luckly it could unlock from the inside so I would sneak out of my room and use the bathroom then sneak back in and lock the door.

My dad and I slowly began to dislike eachother i dunno what happend to us I used to be daddy's little princess now that's not the case yea I'm close to my mom but it's complicated she thinks I tell her everything but there's alot she doesn't know and she doesn't need to know.

My brother...hes better now but he acts like he likes me but I know he doesn't I wouldn't like myself to if I went through that.

It's been years later now I'm trying to be a better older sister my dad and i's relationship is still bad he'd trying to fix it but it's not working..