just some experiences I had that I wanna talk about..

my happy place?

About 2 years ago when I had got settled into my new house I was still a angry kid and I still am to this day but I'm getting better..I think.

I would always take out my anger on my little step brother or my biological sister since I live with my biological sister all year and I stay at my dad's house where my stepbrother is for 1-2 months out of the year.

I deeply regret taking my anger out on them I still hate myself for it.

But you see my biological sister would always do little things she knew would annoy me causing me to lash out on her and her going to run to our mother and play victim and normally my mom only would hear me yelling at my sister so she would take her side.

My mother would lecture me on the house is supposed to be a safe place and she would always ask my sister infront of me where's your safe place.

Nobody ever asked me that..not even my own mother or father.

My dad started to ask my little sister where her safe place was to.

I watched and watched for 4 year Intel...I broke..I stopped even speaking to my family I became low contact after school I was in my bed I knew that was my safe place atleast I thought.

We moved to Washington and I just stayed in my room I couldn't bare seeing my family asking my sister that.

My mom would start to ask me why I didn't go out of my room and why would we only see me atthe dinner table.

Me and my sister were left home alone she was annoying me then..she said I can't belive I have a safe place..I snapped all that build up anger for 4 years came out I grabbed a note book and smacked her...I froze holding the note book and my sister crying.

That night she told my mother has she should I fought Intel I yelled.

MAYBE IF YOU WOKE UP AND SEE THAT YOU HAVE TWO DAUGHTERS AND MAYBE ASK THE OTHER ONE "oh where's your safe place" THEN MAYBE I WOULDN'T BE SO MAD.

My mom sat there in her bed and me across the room at the doorway beginning to cry all of that built up anger was out I felt sort of relived..but then my mother asked me.

Well -insert my name- where's your safe place?

I just thought to myself what the hell now you ask after I tell you!?

I don't have one was all I could say then I left we haven't spoken about it since..