King of the Woods, or Trivial Pursuit

Part 18 - Hound

Byron unwrapped another Egg McMuffin. Ray sipped water through a straw. At the next table, a haggard woman watched two of her children run around the play area while she fed chicken nuggets to her third. A lean, older man wearing a Jacksonville Sheriff's Office uniform purchased a coffee and took a seat at the rear of the restaurant. His face reminded Ray of a greyhound's.

"You sure?" Byron waved the sandwich before Ray.

"I'm not hungry," Ray said.

"Then why are you carrying a picnic basket?" Byron said.

"Picnic baskets have lids," Ray said. "She put all my things in it when she left. She didn't even say goodbye."

"You have a choice to make," Byron said. "Option one, your heart is broken, and you'll never love again. Option two, your dick is wet, and hey, free basket."

The woman at the next table glared at Byron. He winked back.

"I'll have the number one, please," Ray said. "Hold the fries."

"Then can I have the basket?" Byron said.

Ray slid it across the table. Byron slid it back.

"I bet your sugar is low," Byron said. "What did you eat last night?"

"What are you, my mother?" Ray said.

"No, that's what I ate last night," Byron said.

"Excuse me," the woman at the next table said.

"We'll keep it down." Ray grinned despite himself.

"Finally," Byron said. "I was tired of the gloomy bitch show."

"I'm just trying to understand what happened," Ray said.

"Cultivate an abundance mentality, bro" Byron said. "Don't worry about why one girl bailed."

"I mean before she left," Ray said. "She showed me some very strange things."

"Like with her thumb?" Byron said. "It's not that strange. You're sheltered."

The woman at the next table nodded slightly. Ray glanced over at her, and she pretended that she hadn't been listening. Her child nearly choked on a McNugget.

Ray said, "No, she did things that are literally impossible. Like magic."

"I get you," Byron said. "I've done a few gymnasts."

"Forget it," Ray said. "I'll figure it out once my head clears."

"That's it!" Byron slapped the table.

"What is?" Ray said.

"The final piece of the puzzle," Byron said. "You got roofied. Your girl was a trick baby."

"A what?" Ray said.

"I saw it in a movie," Byron said. "It's like a prostitute, but instead of fucking you, she fucks you. By stealing all your shit."

"I will speak with the manager if I have to," the woman at the next table said.

"We're sorry," Ray said. "Byron, tell her you're sorry."

"Could you tell him my McMuffin was cold while you're up there?" Byron said.

Ray's eyes widened. The woman at the next table laughed.

"Give me one more chance," Byron said. "I'll be a good boy."

"Oh, you're trouble," she said. "I can tell."

"Never denied it," Byron said.

"One more chance." She wagged her finger at him. "I'm watching you."