King of the Woods, or Trivial Pursuit

Part 38 - Deal

"Trivia!" Ray's throat burned, his sides ached, and welts and scratches covered every inch of his exposed skin. The forest had opposed him at every step. He'd neither seen nor heard any trace of Trivia, or any living creature, save for a crow flying overhead. Pausing for breath, he smelled white fringetree and honeysuckle, but it was only a memory.

Black feathers entered his peripheral vision, then Audubon stood before him in human form. "You're running in circles. You won't find her."

Ray leaned against a tree trunk to catch his breath. "If you have a better idea, I'm listening."

"Your voice is not entirely repulsive," Audubon said. "Can you sing?

Ray shook his head.

Audubon stepped out of her high heels and turned her feet so that three talons of one faced the same direction as the fourth, backwards talon of the other. Raising her arms with crane-like grace, she bent her knees. "Can you dance?"

Holding a phantom Dixie cup, Ray rocked from one foot to the other with all the rhythm of a cardiac patient. "Best I can do is the white guy shuffle. Ballet is right out."

Audubon completed her pirouette and began counting his flaws on her fingers: "How can you call yourself a man? You cannot sing or dance, your plumage is dreadful, and you bring no morsels, twine or colorful stones."

"I'd get her a gift if I knew what she wanted." Ray turned away from Audubon. "But if you're only here to insult me, I'm going to keep looking for her."

She let him take a few steps. "Wait. I thought of something else. Would you fight for her?"

"Yes," Ray said, without hesitation. "I know she's a lot stronger than me, but it doesn't matter. If I could help her, even a little, I would."

"You can do more than help her," Audubon said. "You can save her."

Ray looked back at Audubon with narrowed eyes and furrowed brows. "Save her from what?"

"From killing," Audubon said. "Trivia only wants to kill Frazer; I want to replace him. If you help me, you help Trivia."

Ray shook his head. "I can't be King of the Woods. Trivia said—"

Audubon held up her hands. "It would only for a little while! You could save the forest and prevent Trivia's pretty hands from getting any dirtier."

The gleam in Audubon's eyes unsettled him. He looked away, but he couldn't ignore her offer. "She really wouldn't have to kill Frazer?"

"That's what you wanted, isn't it?"

"It's Trivia's dream," Ray said. "She doesn't want to have to kill anymore."

Audubon stepped intimately close to him and made things worse by whispering in to his ear. "So, you do know what she wants. I bet she'd be very grateful."

Recoiling, Ray said, "That's not what it's about! Why does everything have to be about sex with you? I know you think I'm one big joke, but I love her, okay?"

"Then help her." Audubon spread her hands, seeking alms. "I can't do it. Wilson and Roosevelt can't do it. You're the only one who can."

"The only one," he echoed.

"Ray, have I ever lied to you?" Audubon said.

"I get the feeling I wouldn't be able to tell."