Lady Bennett // Colin Bridgerton

London

Colin tried to get the frustration of the past few weeks out, as he stepped inside the tub. He rarely bathed at night, alone, using candles and scented oils. But he wanted to relax and enjoy quiet. Peace. If only there was a way to get Lady Bennett out of his head. He dived in, holding his breath for a few moments, before resurfacing. He was unsure about how he felt. That was the one constant thing about Julie.
His hand traveled down, adjusting his manhood, and it lingered there, so he gently wrapped his fingers around his length. It has been a long time. Perhaps he could please himself a little, Colin thought. It usually helped him relax and sleep better. He gently moved his hand up and down, enjoying the warmth of the bath. He imagined his fist was the warm and tight flesh of a woman. He imagined round and bouncy breasts, round hips and soft skin under his fingertips. Soft, warm lips under his, hitched breath on his ear, and.. Julie. He wondered what it would feel like to put his mouth around her naked breast, cupping her nipple. What she tasted like. He relived their kiss, remembering how she moaned into it, and his hand moved faster and faster. He wondered what her face would look like, as she laid naked underneath him. He imagined thrusting into her, as she moaned, he imagined giving her pleasure, exploring her glorious body.. He wanted her. His body was no longer his. His hand worked on its own, his mind racing with images of her, the way her breasts bounced when they danced, the way her ruffled hair fell around her face, the way she said his name, imagining her cry it out in pleasure.. He went on and on.. Until he felt his head go empty and his length twitch, releasing. And damn, it felt good. If she could cause him to feel this way just from thinking of her, Colin wondered what it would actually be like.. To be with her. He shook his head, as if it would make the thought go away. It did not. He wanted Julie. More than that. He needed her.

*****

"I think you are being a bit too strict." Charlotte sighed, as she braided Julie's hair. "What are you talking about?"
"Julie." Charlotte rolled her eyes, putting the brush down. "I know why you are so distressed today."
"Charlotte, stop." Julie shook her head, taking hold of her braid. There is no way Charlotte knew that Colin was at the house today. There is no way she could know about their kiss. About the way he stormed off, without a single word after it. "You know I am always honest with you, my lady." Charlotte nodded, as she fixed Julie's pillow, before she pulled on the curtains. "And I know Lord Bridgerton was here."
"Charlotte!" Julie warned, pressing her finger to her lips, ordering Charlotte to keep quieter. "And I know he kissed you."
"Shhhhhhh!"
Charlotte walked back to the bed, sitting next to her landlady.
Julie felt her cheeks burn, and her heart began to race. "Does anyone else know he was here?"
"I would never tell anyone." Charlotte assured, squeezing her hands. "I always have your back. You know that."
"I know." Julie nodded, pulling her into a hug. "You are my friend." She added. Charlotte nodded, standing up to grab the oil from Julie's make-up table. She poured a few drops onto her hands, massaging them. "And, as your friend, I think you are being too strict." 
"What I am supposed to do?" 
"You could of have accepted the flowers he sent."
"You know as well as I do, I could not."
"You could of have accepted his letter."
"There is nothing to be said. He ran away. He is ashamed of me. Of kissing me."
"You do not know that."
"I know he is to be wed. With my cousin."
"But he kissed you." Charlotte cocked an eyebrow, before she departed with her usual, "Goodnight, Lady Bennett."
Julie grabbed the small watch from her nightstand. It was almost midnight. She could not sleep. The kiss on her lips made her soul burden with remorse. She had kissed Colin, twice. Beth's fiancé. The man who was too ashamed to dance with her a couple of months ago. She told herself she would hate him. She burnt his letters. And she still kissed him today. Perhaps she was not the only one. Maybe he kissed other ladies. Julie would not be surprised. He surely visited brothels. His brothers certainly did. Julie could only imagine it was very amusing to him, causing her to lose her mind. Making her blush, making her swoon. Making her poor romantic heart flutter. Perhaps he even mocked her, in front of his friends.
There was a quick knock on her door, and Julie pulled the scarf over her shoulders, before she opened it. "Charlotte, I will-"
"Shhh." Colin pressed his finger against her lips, rushing inside, and closing the door behind him. Julie watched as he turned the key, as she slowly walked backwards, towards her bed. "What.. What are you doing?" She felt her heart began to rush, as smell of bourbon evaporated from his clothes and skin. Why did he lock the door? Was he drunk? 
Colin watched as she back away from him, pulling on the scarf around her shoulders. She was scared. Of him? And it made his heart hurt. "Please, do not be scared." He gently whispered, taking off his hat. "You did not accept my flowers. My letter. That is why I am here."
"This is very inappropriate." Julie mumbled, backing further away, until her back pressed to the wall. It soothed her he did not follow her, noticing her apprehensiveness. Instead, he stood on the safe distance, calmly. "Julie, I can not stop thinking about you."
"Please, leave." 
Colin heard her voice shake, and he noticed her eyes carefully measuring out the distance between their bodies. Colin took a step back, back towards the door. "I do not want you to be afraid of me. Never." He whispered, pulling his hands behind his back in attempt to look as harmless as possible. Julie could tell he was being honest. She felt shame she ever doubted his intentions. "I simply needed to see you and tell you I am breaking up the engagement." 
"You are.. You." Julie frowned, crossing the distance to him in a few fast steps. As if she wanted to make sure he was real, he was there. Suddenly, she did not care about fear. All she felt was confusion, like never before. "You can not do that."
"I can. And will."
"Because of our kiss?" She warely touched her lips, shaking her head. Colin nodded, looking her straight in the eye. "Because I need to marry you."
"But, you know.. I already told you.." Julie shook her head, looking away. "You do not have to marry me because we kissed."
"That is not why I wish to marry you." Colin shook his head, his hand touching her soft chin, tilting her head up, so she would look into his eyes. Her eyes were deep blue, as her black pupils widened, shining. "I want to marry you because you are a lady." He slowly breathed out. "And I can not do anything besides kiss you. And goddammit, Julie, I want to do so much more."
Julie felt her cheeks color red, and burn, seeing the lust in his eyes, passion. She was unsure what he meant by that. But it made her heart race nevertheless, and her loins tickle, like they would whenever she thought about their kiss, or his naked broad shoulders. 
"We could never." Julie whispered, after a long pause. Colin noticed the glimmer of hope inside her eyes, despite her giving him a cold-shoulder. "Besides, how do you know that I  want to marry you?" Julie tried her best attempt of a sneer, and Colin loved how unnatural it was for her to act prideful. Colin's hands slowly traveled down to her waist, and he nodded. "I know because you still have it." His lips pulled into a playful grin, as he touched the hem of her scarf. The one he gave her that night before leaving for Scotland. She kept it. She treasured it. And she wore it. And it made Colin want to share everything his with her. "Here." Julie pulled it off in one move, offering it to him. He took it, for a moment, bringing it to his nose, breathing in the sweet smell of her skin, before he draped it back around her shoulders. "It is yours." He whispered. She melted under his gaze, her eyes following closely his every move. "As is my heart." He added, placing her hand to his chest. Julie smiled, looking away. His gaze had hypnotizing power over her. "I have to go." 
Julie nodded, still offering the silk scarf. Colin smirked at her gesture, touching her cheek gently. "It is yours." She insisted. "Consider it your first gift from your husband." 
Julie's lips pulled into a small, barely noticeable grin. As delusional as his confidence was, that sentence made her heart skip a beat. He smiled at her one last time, before rushing away.