Black Holes - The Mors Mortis Trilogy Book 3

Chapter Twenty Five

Things moved quickly after that.

Zarah left to close the portal; Jared moved Danny into Alice and Brenton's bedroom, where Danny would stay under Alice's supervision until Zarah returned; and Cassandra and Riley disappeared down to the beach, staking out a spot to open a portal — one close to the house, but remote enough that someone else wouldn't stumble across it.

Jared spent the few spare moments he had trying to clear his head. He splashed water over his face and checked the ammunition in the gun he'd commandeered off Riley, doing everything he could to keep the panic at bay. Brenton's moans still echoed through the house, a constant reminder of the place Jared would soon return to, and he had to keep telling himself this time would be different.

He wouldn't be abandoned in there again. There'd be a portal standing open, ready for his return. The darkness and pressure would only be temporary.

The reassurances ran through his head over and over, but the sick feeling in his stomach remained, and when Cassandra returned, stating they'd found a spot, Jared wanted to vomit.

He gave her a stiff nod and grabbed his gun, looking around for Leah. She wasn't in the living room where he'd left her, but he could hear the floorboards creaking above as someone crossed the landing and moved towards the back of the house. He told Cassandra to wait a moment and climbed upstairs.

Leah's bedroom door hung open a crack, spilling a streak of yellow light across the corridor. He moved to the door and pushed it open, revealing the room a fraction at a time. He saw the dresser first, then the window sill, wide enough to sit on and look out, then the surfboard, leaning against the wall.

Leah stood in the middle of all of it, staring around and looking lost, and Jared felt a strange sense of disorientation. The room hadn't changed at all since she'd left, as if Brenton and Alice hadn't wanted to touch it, and Jared could almost convince himself that none of this had even happened; that Leah still lived here and he'd never come looking for her.

He stayed quiet, aware she knew he was there but unsure whether he was welcome, and the seconds dragged on.

"I never should've left this place," she said eventually, and Jared decided that was all the permission he needed.

He stepped inside, letting the door slip closed behind him, and the smell enveloped him: sunbaked sand and salt and the tiniest hint of must - the only clue that the room had been vacant for more than a couple days.

"What do you mean?"

She still didn't look at him, but her shoulders tensed, and for the first time, he realised how sharp they'd become, jutting out starkly against skin that'd grown translucent.

"You know what I mean," she said, her voice a murmur. "If I'd never left Narra, none of this would've happened."

Jared swallowed. He had no idea what to say to this Leah. He was used to self-pity. He'd seen it on enough of Brenton's men to know how dangerous it could be — how it could lead to laziness and apathy — but this was something different, something darker.

"What happened wasn't your fault," he said, trying to gauge what she wanted to hear — what would get her out of this emptiness she'd fallen into. "You didn't know the worlds could collapse so easily. No one did."

Leah let out a small noise, something terrible and pained, but she choked it off quick.

"That's not true," she said. "I was told not to connect back to the world of the dead. I didn't know what would happen exactly, but I knew it'd be bad. But I did it anyway. I saw Brenton about to kill you and I just —"

Her eyes rose to meet his and there was no light in them.

"I'm no better than him. If anything I'm worse. He was trying to destroy the world because he thought it'd help people. But I actually did destroy it. And it was purely out of selfishness."

Jared opened his mouth. Closed it again. Caught.

And suddenly, he'd had enough.

"Okay, fine," he said, allowing the frustration to leak into his voice. "You destroyed everything. Is that what you want to hear? Because we still have a chance to fix it, and you're not even trying. You're disappearing into yourself and it's bullshit. Okay? Snap out of it."

She looked down at her hands, her hair limp and falling across her face, and Jared had never wanted to shake someone more in his life. To scream at her to get it together.

"I trying," she said.

Jared scoffed, and he didn't even care that it made her flinch, that she shrunk back.

"Well, try harder," he said. "The world isn't going to wait for you."

"I know," she said, and Jared tried to ignore the waver in her voice, the vulnerability he'd never heard soak it before. "I've been trying... so hard. But I feel nothing. All of the time, I'm just empty. And when I do get flickers, when there is something there, it's terrible."

Jared wanted to go over to hug her then, but he knew that wouldn't help. They didn't have time for Leah to work through this slowly.

"Yeah, well, welcome to my world," he said. "People fuck up. They make shit decisions. You need to learn to live with yours."

She didn't answer, staring down at the floor as if she might disappear through it, and Jared strode over to her and grabbed her shoulders, gripping strong enough that he knew it must hurt. But he needed something to cut through to her. Even if it was pain, or anger.

"I know you can do this," he said, his voice determined. "You're the most stubborn person I've ever met, so if you decide to fight this off, you can. You just need to decide."

Her skin was turning blue under his fingers, the blood draining, but she didn't move, didn't look up, and it felt like he wasn't even there at all. It cut Jared deeper than he thought it could.

"I'm sorry," she said, the words barely more than a breath, and it felt like she'd slapped him.

He let go and backed up, anger curling through his system, jagged and filled with rejection.

"Fine," he said, the bitterness in his voice clear. "If you think I'm letting you go back to the in between like this, though, you're crazy. I'll see you when I get back."

He turned, about to walk out the door, but she took a step after him, hesitant.

"What?" she asked. "I'm supposed to come with you. Cassandra said."

Jared couldn't help the laugh that tore it's way up his throat and he spun to face her again.

"Do you really think I care with Cassandra said? Seriously? If you go in there today, you're not coming back. And I can't have that, Leah. Not when I—"

He cut off, his voice cracking, and he felt all his anger flee, draining as fast a blood from an artery.

"Not when I only just got you back."

He looked up, and for a second, he thought he saw something flicker in her eyes, but he knew it wasn't enough — that whatever held Leah down was griping on stronger than he ever could.

So, he turned and walked out of the room, thumping down the stairs. Cassandra stood at the bottom, an eyebrow raised when Leah didn't appear behind him. She opened her mouth, but Jared spoke before she could.

"Leah's not coming," he said.

"What—"

"She's not well and I don't need her distracting me," Jared snapped. "I can't worry about her there, too. I can get Brenton myself."

And then he stormed out the front door, knowing that if he stopped, he might not have the courage to start again.

He was vaguely aware of Cassandra hovering, unsure, but then she followed him, closing the door to the house gently behind her.

...

Next chapter out in two weeks!

- Skylar xx