p e n u m b r a (discontinued)

Prologue: The Dream That Binds Us

She came to me in dreams, returning from the black void. Her soul made sure to remind me that I love her, and that she hated me till the very second she died. She twisted the truth into a nightmare that I relive every night. It felt so real; more real than reality. At least it seemed that way to me. My mind could go anywhere in my dreams. I could be dreaming about what I want from the world, dreaming about the simplicity and beauty of the colorful sky. I could even be dreaming about my son, my beautiful little boy. My dark haired prince with ocean tinted eyes. But my mind remains on her, Clarity. She was the force of nature that set every eventful chain in motion. She was the catalyst for all of this. The end of the world began with the warmth of her very breath. And when she died, the important parts of me died with her.

When I laid my head to rest, breathing in the smoky insense before drifting, I knew the course my dreams would take. The scene would begin with her lighting her candle and mumbling under her soft breath. Her breath escapes her lips and freezes out into the cold air. "Gently now, gently" she speaks inside her head. And there the flame dances in all it's felicity. The movements are so foreign and exotic against the darkness of the eerie night. She sets the candle down by her feet and stands up once more. Her bare feet sweep against the damp grass and the lake to her left shimmers with her. The full moon hangs behind her with such a picturesque glow. The owl's hoot rings high within the deadly sounds.

She would tell me that she prayed that she would find me "lost in the tumbleweeds and footprints left behind." Something about her voice leaves me starstruck. Like a siren, she captivates me. I am but a powerless sailor swaying to the rhythm of her sea. I'm lost in the depths of her eyes, the fullness of her lips, the softness of her skin, and soothing melody escaping her throat. She swept her hair over her right shoulder, and her eyes shine brighter than the sparkling sea. A beautiful body is robed in white; her satin dress complements her soft skin. I know she's wicked and her thoughts are insidious, but I still desire her spirit. She enchants me.

She would tell me that she knows me; that she sees me for who I really am. She would say that galaxies circulate into whirlpools in my eyes. She feels me and my tender heart. My bare feet take soft and gentle footsteps towards her. She stretches her arms out to me, beckoning me over. With one foot in front of the other, I amble towards her with the legs of a drunken man. I'm swaying and tilting east and west, but I still advance to her. Her lips curl into a soft and sweet smile. We're inches apart. My fingers stretch out to her. All I want is to say yes to her; I want to tell her I love her.

But I don't.

The soft touch of her hand grabs my own. I look up to see her cool eyes come to life. Her touch is inviting, but like needles, it stings. I suddenly feel an excruciating pain. I want this, but my body does not. It knows that whatever this is, it is dangerous and lethal. My heart feels a shock and a sort of melancholy fear. I close my eyes, averting my gaze from her. I was afraid... I was deadly afraid.

I love-

"Shut up!" Suddenly, impulses take over. My hands have anger pumped into the veins. It is so swift, almost as if the wind catches my hand and pushes it through the air with a good thrust. I slap her, and she turns away. Her long hair flies with her, and it covers her face. She freezes there and as do I. My limbs are so stiff. I can't move. Her seductive voice is hushed, but another voice rises up from her throat.

"... shut.... up?....." she shivers. I have no answer for her; my limbs are still frozen in place, and my voice is mute. I should leave, but I just can't. "shut... up?....."

Suddenly, like a flash of lightning, she twitches and turns to me. Her face twists. Her eyes turn to big pools of thick black. Her flawless white skin grows bulging red veins that stretch out like spider webs across her face. In a loud shrieking voice, she repeats my words, "Shut up?!" Anger is flushed from her lips and I see the venom drip down from her mouth. This creature is horrible. I try to run away, but she catches me. Her hands with large claws grip my neck. The claws sink into my skin, I feel it tear open. She shakes me. I can not breathe. Hot thickness gathers in my throat. I gargle and choke; I feel the blood ooze down my neck and onto her sharp fingertips. She shakes me again, harder and harder. Blood fills my throat and I feel chunks of it bubble and spill out of my mouth. I hear her screams in the background, her hissing, her swearing. But they're muffled, and I don't bother struggling to make out the words. My mind is blank, and I'm lost in a swirly and disorienting tango. Tears fall down my face. I'm afraid. I'm so afraid.

I start to sway down, as if I'm falling, and I smack down against water. I feel her grip let go and I open my eyes. The horrific sight I see leaves me in such a petrifying state. Blood is floating up lightly through the water, leaving what was once pure and clear, a bloody haematic red. Patches of small white rubber-like textures float up between the blood. Is that my own flesh? She tore me apart like paper. She carved me alive. The most grotesque sight of all was her. The siren, the demon. Her hair floats in the water. Her lips reveal large sharp white teeth, stained with blood. The veins in her face bulge out even more, and I can see the rate of blood that was pumping. Pump pump... pump pump... the veins would pop in rhythm. Time seems to stand still, and I grow weary. My eyes close, allowing me to sink into the dark whirlpool of consciousness. Down I sink into the darkness, and my last thought before I descended was if ever I was to witness the light again.