Holy shit, its been a year since you left. I know youre not dead but i cant help but wonder. you told me you would stay safe, you told me you love me, but i still wonder.
I have a new love now, hes amazing, i love him, hes so sweet and beautiful. I cant help but wonder if i would be with him if you were still here. maybe i would, maybe i wouldnt.
i cant believe im still alive. It feels weird. i didnt think i would ever make it, and i cant tell if its for the better or worse.
It feels sad to admit, but i still love you. I could never not love you, you were my everything and while youre not anymore you still left a mark on me.
While we may not have been destined to be together, i still love you and am so glad we got our time together.
I hope youre doing okay, i wonder if you finished that play. I want to know what you think of the new star wars shows. I want to know how youre life is going at school. how its going with your family.
4,524.9 miles away. Fuck.
Do you think, that if we met now, we would fall in love again?
I remember that first time you messaged me, i imagined meeting you accidentally one day and going on a date together, i think its funny now that i thought you would have dark brown hair.
I remember our video chat. It took forever to organize but it was worth it. I thought you were one of the most handsome people i knew. It was so funny to meet your cats.
I still have all the pictures you sent me. And the ones from your face reveals.
Ive loved you since day one, and i still love you.
I worry that my love was one sided but i hope not.
My new love feels so odd. I absolutely love him, and i think its funny that he and i went through similar expierences. I worry that i dont love him enough. He told me that he loved me since day one but i hate to say i didnt. i love him so much but i feel bad that i havent loved him as long as he has loved me.
i think if you met me now you would think i was stupid. im insaney different from when you met me. especially physically.
when you met me i was some stupid anzious kid who loved reading books. i had natural hair, no piercings, no tattoos, and i had never drank or gotten high.
now i still have the anxiety, i havent read a book in way too long (although i read alot of fanfics) my hair is fucking blue, 5 piercings, 4 (about to be 5) tattoos, and i love drinking and smoking weed (not to mention im a man now which i dont think you would like)
i still think i would love you no matter what
bye nat, love you <3
