Project tiftanglen || Neteyam

2

 He regretted not asking who was accompanying him in the samson, Tarians groans were heard more than whatever the scientists were squabbling about, however they stopped when the two white coat clad women glared at him with enough ferocity to kill a man. The blades of the samson where loud and Tarians legs were swinging off of the edge, slightly debating if the nasally voices would leave him alone in hell. They were flying almost level with the highest floating mountain, which was their only navigation method because their instruments died as soon as they got even close to the mountains. He pulled his ears down mouthing "shut the fuck up" over and over like a mantra or a prayer.

When they wouldn't stop talking about the stupid stuff they were at eachothers throats about he started to play with his braid, clutching the chunky beads that were halfassedly braided into the chunky braid meant to protect his que, the extension of his nerves, Tarian never dared to connect to anything or anyone for the matter, he knew how it worked, he knew that the navi would challenge and be challenged by an ikran and bond with it, he knew they would connect their que's with someone they loved truly sealing a bond, a promise to forever love each other. He never dared to try, he knew he was damaged, that an unsuccessful bond with anyone, anything would break his heart and soul. Tarian came out wrong, he knew, but to understand the full extent took a lot of processing, his que, it wasn't.. normal, half of the tendrils are pressed down and looked like it got shaved off, along with the phantom pains for his hand, which he never had but still sometime felt dull throbs of pain spreading along the limb hidden under a mound of metal that never truly felt like his, the pain his que emitted was unholy, it felt like growing pain but constant, nights spent sobbing, his tail curled around him in a bundle of blankets, teeth barred curled into a small ball downing as many pain meds as he was allowed to just to get a wink of dreamless pain filled sleep.

 No one fully knew if he could connect to things on Pandora, his que only had half the tendrils it was supposed to have and felt sore to the touch, people always told him "i know how it feels, it hurts right?" but they know nothing, nothing they don't know shit, its an extension of his nerves, having to live every day with half of his nerve endings brutally severed feels like a day not worth living, he feels like a hollow skull that a bird made home in, like the body doing the brutal exercises, being cut open for people's sick and twisted pleasure was just a hole where at the bottom lay a 13 year old, bruised Tarian whose face was stained with enough tears to refill earths oceans. Tears. He knew he wasnt crying, the only one that cried was the Tarian living inside him, not the doll that he could barely control.

The first thought in his sick head trying to clamber out of a depressive episode was tears. The tears that where slowly swelling in this soldiers eyes by the second, the tears that could've saved the world stopped, like all the good things happening to him when that sick fuck violated him while in cryo.

Que the two most annoying scientists on pandora

"ey!-"

"he!-"

"hey!-"

The 2 voices of women who sounded anxious and pretentious at the same time brought him back to the surface of the ocean in his head waiting to spill. Not this time.

He blinked back the tiny drops gathering, ready to break the impenetrable dam that rested behind his irises. He looked up to the two women cocking his head to the side as if questioning what the hell they were asking him for
"We're here 03" oh, that name, the name that he has resented ever since he was dubbed it, how he hated it, every time he heard it uttered he wanted to rip his hair out, to massacre the entire base if that's what he needed to do to get it out of their sinful mouths, he was branded, a big "03'' standing out in a light pinkish blue on his right shoulder. It wasn't his experiment order, god how he wished that there where two before him, less perfect, more flawed, making the immense weight on his shoulders lighter. It was the amount of imperfections they found on his body when he was first born, his arm, his que, and the very brand they placed on him. The pure irony of the name made him want to start sobbing, they branded him including the one imperfection they granted him, unfairly named him including the one thing they tried forcefully put on his body, the one thing he spent nights staring at, scratching at it hoping it would fade away. His thoughts, any trace of anything other then the numb soldier the RDA birthed was wiped away as he jumped out of the helicopter, hoisting his backpack higher on his shoulders, waving to the samson, cupping his hands over his mouth and yelling
"I'm gonna take a while!" the pilot gave him a thumbs up and flew away.

Damn rocks, he thought as he kicked a few rocks off of the mountain

"What plant even is this" he muttered, looking at a tablet picture, the plant was a shrub that looked like every other shrub on Pandora, the only difference was that it was slightly teal and gave off a pleasant smell. There were shouts and squawks in the distance, ikran, beautiful creatures, hes never seen one up close, but hes seen pictures and that was good enough to make his usually dull eyes sparkle with amazement, how he wished to run off, tame one of them and run away into the sky's, become one with the ikran, live in the clouds flying on whatever majestic creature let him freeload between their leathery wings. But he would be hunted, he was RDA property, they would hunt him, tie him to a metal bench and force other things they don't know the side effects of into his body. He shakes his head, looking down onto the ground he notices a funny looking rock, crouching and cringing at the rough snapping his knees make me brings the rock up to his face he smiles, it really was a nice rock, his ears go up in the pleasant feeling as his tail lightly whips around him as he puts it in his pocket for a later time. Then a shadow engulfs him and he feels his ears pin back as he starts looking up.