unconscious spill - OMORI

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in which subject 🌹 looks for an angel...

HERO sat in the hospital waiting room, chewing on a french fry. it had gone cold. it was around midnight, and KEL had gone home to sleep. it was lonely at the hospital this time of night. cold and quiet. it reminded him of the hallways at college after hours. something else too, hero. he didn't want to disturb BASIL, and SUNNY was... not awake. so here he was, alone in a hospital at one a.m... he pulled his cardigan tighter around his shoulders.

...these fries were gross. thick, congealed potato insides, and soggy, limp crust. well, they were better when he had gotten them five hours ago. fries turned into completely different things when they got cold, it seemed like. maybe if he was a chef... he could make fries that stayed good once they cooled off. he could picture it. his head chef's hat balanced atop his grown-up head, dashing around the kitchen perfectly in time for every step of the process, pen scratching away in a family cookbook, leaning over to kiss MARI on the cheek...

...

...well. that wasn't happening. he spat out the bit of fry into a rough fast food napkin and tossed the leftovers out. your restaurant would have been so good hero. he decided to go for a walk. clear his head. he opened the hospital doors to the small garden out back. it was all white flowers. he saw egret orchids and white poppies and lilies of the valley- lilies of the valley. ...god, he needed to just get his head out of the clouds. but he could almost feel mari's arms around his body.

it... smelled nice out here. he could smell flowers and grass and rain on the horizon. and he could smell the scent of hospital sterility and so many flowers and candies out of an open window. he smelled freshly baked cookies and he smelled sweet, sweet flowers and he smelled rotten meat. "get your brain out of the grave, hero." she's not as dead as the boy in room 143. HERO flinched. he still smelled cookies and flowers and sunlight and everything that wasn't there.

maybe someone was baking cookies. he sat on a bench to steady himself. she's gone, hero. she won't come back. she left everyone and went to somewhere where she could be happy. she's back for you, hero. no, she wasn't. there's no point in false hope anymore. idiot. stupid lover boy, dreaming that his angel will just magically stop rotting six feet under. dreaming that everything would go back to the way it was, with KEL and AUBREY and BASIL and SUNNY and MARI and his toy dragons and his fresh-baked snacks and his dream restaurant and the treehouse he helped build...

he heard a quiet meow. a stray cat wound around his leg, asking him for attention. it had soft, yellow fur and vibrant blue eyes. they were so bright they appeared almost purple. he smiled a little and patted its side. these cats knew him, he fed them the chicken scraps from the local fast food places. he didn't recognize this one though. it looked old. and plump. was it a even a stray? probably just an outdoor cat.

it hopped onto his lap, curling up and purring. he was grateful for the heat on the cold night. he leaned into the warmth of the cat, missing people and missing things. the comforting glow filled some of the pits in his heart, curling into gouged out pieces of skull and soul. it was nicer than being out here alone. it suddenly let out a small "mrrp" and hopped off his lap, skittering away into the undergrowth.

HERO hugged his legs to his chest, looking up at the sky one last time before turning to head inside. he looked up at the hospital window. he could almost see MARI leaning out of it, like they were going to do in the eighth-grade production of ROMEO and JULIET. they were perfect for the roles. it was a romantic tragedy. how painfully, horribly fitting. they both die at the end. he was still waiting for his ending.