Bilbo Baggins Will Destroy the Ring and Find His Husband Again!

Bilbo Bashes His Head On a Rock and Gains a Stalker

Bilbo Baggins had lived an eventful life. He was fully prepared to reach Yavanna's gardens and relax after messing everything up. He would never forgive himself for making his nephew bear his burden and he was prepared to be punished for his stupid actions. He let the lull of the ship calm his nerves and took his last breath. It was a shame he would never see the Undying Lands.
Twenty six year old Bilbo Baggins tripped and slammed his head on a rock. As he lay there bleeding, memories flooded his mind. Of riddling a dragon and riding barrels through the Elven King's realm. Of friends that became family and a love that carved its way into his heart.
"The bleeding Ring!" He screeched and sat up. Blood ran down his face and he ignored it. He had to get the Ring and destroy it! He would not allow his darling nephew to bear the burden. He did some quick math and realized Fell Winter would be this year. He weighed his options and made his choice. He loved his parents with his whole being but he would split Arda in half for his nephew. He would take the Ring to Mordor. Running home, he ran into Lobelia. She had not yet married Otto and he was thrown by how young she looked.
"Bilbo! Have you come to propose?" She asked, her eyes narrowed into slits. He knew it was her ma who was pushing her into his family and felt a pang of pity for the girl. She hadn't always been a silverware stealing hag.
"I'm sorry, Lobelia. I'm actually in love with a dwarf." Her mouth fell open and she looked around quickly.
"Bilbo, you can't say that. You know proper hobbits don't like outsiders."
"Proper hobbits can stuff it. I don't care about all that nonsense." She looked floored. He understood the feeling. Before the dwarves, he could not imagine sleeping outside or eating only three meals.
"I like your attitude, Bilbo! It seems you've found your spine. Why are you bleeding?" He forgot how much he had liked her in their youth. Before the Sackville-Baggins name had snuffed out her spirit.
"I hit my head on a rock. I have to get going, I'm going on an adventure." He left her sputtering on the road and raced home.
"Bilbo! What happened, son?" His pa quickly pressed his handkerchief against his forehead and Bilbo let himself soak up the attention. His pa was a soft, gentle hobbit and he had resented him in his tween years. He wanted to run wild and find elves, not study numbers. When he was older, he understood the spine of steel his pa had for dealing with idiots all day.
"I tripped, pa. I need to speak to you and ma." His pa led him to the sunroom where his ma was. His last memory of Belladonna Baggins had been her wasting away from a broken heart. Outsiders didn't realize how much hobbits loved. Like dwarves, they would only love once. Losing that love would prove fatal to them. The only reason Bilbo had kept living was the Ring's influence.
"I know I'm going to sound crazy but I need you both to promise you will stay with Old Took for the winter." They had been going to the Great Smial when his pa had been torn to shreds by a warg. If they started there, they would survive the hard winter to come.
"Bilbo darling, it's still summer. Why are you so worried about winter?"
"It doesn't matter! Please promise me." They shared a confused look but agreed. He let his shoulders relax and spent the rest of the night cuddled up with his parents. He could tell they were thrown by his change of attitude but didn't say anything. That night he stole his ma's traveling pack and snuck out the door, leaving a note behind. Once he was on the main road, he took a moment to get his bearings. He had somehow remembered his past life and it was a mess. He would bear the One Ring and spare his nephew the pain of it. His nephew had been fifty one when he sailed for the Undying lands. He had been so young and his pain had been so great, he could not find peace in the Shire. Bilbo would walk on hot coals to make sure his nephew would grow old.
"There you are, Bilbo! I've been waiting an hour." Lobelia's voice broke through the silence. He jumped a foot in the air and held a hand to his racing chest.
"Shit shit shit, what are you doing here?" She had a sack thrown over her shoulder and gave him a look.
"I'm coming with you. Wherever you're going." She added and he gasped at her.
"No, you are not!" He would barely be able to take care of himself, let alone another hobbit!
"Yes, I am!" She planted her hands on her hips and he mirrored her stance.
"Lobelia! I can't protect you or even guarantee you're going to return." She just flipped her braid over her shoulder.
"Bilbo, if I stay here, I will shrivel up and die. Sure, I'll marry someone rich and pop out a handful of faunts but I will not be happy. My life will be over as soon as I change my name." He closed his mouth and sighed.
"It's going to be dangerous." She grinned and said "Bring it on!"