Bilbo Baggins Will Destroy the Ring and Find His Husband Again!

Bilbo is Going to Fight this Annoying Hobbit!

"Bilbo Baggins! You come out here this instant!" A strict voice yelled out and Bilbo snapped his head to the side. Thorin had invited them to view the throne room in all its splendor. Entering the room was a band of hobbits with Gandalf at their side.
"Da?" He gasped out and Bungo Baggins stormed forward.
"Do you know how worried your ma and I have been? We thought you were hobbitnapped! Then we find out you went on an Adventure!" He had never seen his da so angry before and he didn't know what to do. He may be an old hobbit mentality but he knew better than to cross his elders. His da was ranting some more before he caught sight of his ear. His face paled and he stumbled forward.
"We will discuss this later. I prayed to Yavanna everyday to watch over you and I'm thankful She listened." He hugged him tightly. Bilbo gave a sniff. Thorin had told him he had sent warriors to protect the Shire during the winter but he still hadn't believed his parents would survive.
"Lobelia Bracegirdle! I'm gonna tan your hide once I get my hands on you!" A large hobbit woman shrieked and Bilbo snorted into his hand. Primrose Bracegirdle was stocky and muscular from working on the farm most of her life.
"You'd have to catch me first, ma!" The woman chased Lobelia around the throne room, yelling threats.
"Bilbo, that dwarf is staring at you." His ma said loudly and all of the hobbits turned to look at Thorin. He straightened his shoulders and said "Hello Mr and Mrs Baggins. It is an honor to meet you. I am Thorin, son of Thraín." He gave an elaborate bow.
"I'm going to marry Thorin, da." Bilbo announced to his parents and Lobelia laughed from her ma's side.
"Thorin already invited Bilbo to meet his kin!" All of the hobbits spoke at once and the throne room was filled with hobbitish.
"Bilbo my boy! I hadn't guessed you would be here." Gandalf was just as Bilbo had remembered him and frowned.
"Gandalf, I thought you were dead. How unfortunate to find you still above ground." He turned his back on the wizard, ignoring Frerin's gasp of horror. The hobbits looked between them before following him.
"Ah Bilbo, do we not like Gandalf?" Thorin asked hesitantly and took his hand.
"No, we do not." He hissed out and gave the wizard another dirty look. He would never forgive him for dragging Frodo off into the Wild.
"I see. I'm sorry, Gandalf. Bilbo has spoken." The old man looked between the two of them.
"Thank you for escorting us, Longbeard. We have to prepare for a wedding, you see." His ma patted the wizards knee and the hobbits left the room, leaving Thorin and Frerin behind.
"A Dwarf, Bilbo?" His da asked as they settled into the sitting room.
"My heart beats for him." He said firmly and saw his ma squeal happily before she tackled him to the ground.
"This is wonderful news, sweetling! Your da and I thought you'd never settle down. We didn't mind, of course but now we will get grandfaunts!" Bilbo was trying to breathe through his ma's hair and heard someone clear their throat loudly.
"How ridiculous! Need I remind everyone that that Dwarf is royalty?" Longo Fairbairn stated and Bilbo glared at him.
"I don't see how that's any of your business!" He spat back and Lobelia put a hand on one of her axes.
"I'm just thinking of the Baggins ' name. Your family is admired by the whole Shire. Can you imagine how they would react to Bilbo running off with a Dwarf?" Bilbo was seeing red and that was never a good thing.
"Oh really? I'm sure it has nothing to do with your son trying to court me?" He saw Lobelia snort as Longo stuttered out a reply.
"My son would be an excellent partner."
"I would rather marry an Orc than Ponto Fairbairn!" Bilbo gave the older Hobbit a nasty grin.
"We all know why he's so eager to marry his son off! Ponto can't match his clothes to save his life." The Shire still talked about the time he had walked around town in a spotted vest with floral trousers! The room was dead silent before Longo took a step forward.
"You take that back, boy." Bilbo just rolled up his sleeves before stepping forward as well.
"Make me."
Bilbo couldn't believe the audacity of this idiot! He didn't trek halfway across Arda and be reunited with his darling dwarf, just for some old Hobbit to try and break them apart. A knock sounded on the door before Thorin peeked his head in.
"I apologize if I'm interrupting, but we have prepared a welcoming feast for you." At the mention of food, everyone stood up and stared at him expectantly.
"Well lead the way, laddie!" Grandmother Baggins said before hobbling forward. A giant table was set up, overflowing with food. Thorin's family plus Fin and Thranduil were waiting for them.
"Bilbo! We missed you." Fíli cried out and he saw his ma melt at how cute Thorin's nephews were. Introductions were made before everyone started passing plates around.
"Your Dwarf is strapping lad, Bilbo." Granny Took said and Bilbo beamed at her.
"Did you see the color of his eyes? Simply stunning! They remind me of the flowers growing in the Old Forest." Suddenly everyone was clamoring to get a good look at Thorin's face.
"You're right, cousin! They are very pretty. Prettier than any other suitor you've had." Lotho Took said, grinning wildly around the room.
"And Thorin is a smith." He announced proudly and Primrose Bracegirdle gave a sharp whistle.
"Oh my! Despite his status, you seemed to have picked a winner." A blacksmith was the second most attractive position in Hobbit culture. Since they were made up of farmers and simple folk, anyone who could work with their hands always had their fair share of admirers.

~~~~~~

Thorin blushed under such praise from Bilbo's kin. He had never met any of them in their first life and he was happy that Bilbo was surrounded by his family.
"So when is the wedding?" Bilbo's mother asked and Bilbo grinned happily.
"As soon as possible. I won't have anyone trying to steal Thorin from me." Frerin choked on his food as Dwalin pounded on his back.
"Don't worry about that, Bilbo! Thorin has been scaring everyone away for years!" Dís said and he sank lower in his chair. This was so embarrassing! Bilbo gave him a sweet smile before announcing "Good! I will shave anyone bald if they so much as look at him too long!" The Hobbits roared with laughter while his family gawped at him. Lobelia leant forward and said "Fin! You were so sure you could outdrink Bilbo and I. Time to put your money where your mouth is." The next hour was spent in awed silence as the two Hobbits drank the mighty Balrog slayer under the table. The other Hobbits followed suit and they all stood up before lining up. Grandmother Baggins took a deep breath before she started singing loudly, her voice echoing throughout the chamber. Granny Took joined in and everyone else moved in unison, their feet sliding along the floor. They jumped and twirled, limbs flailing everywhere as his kin looked on. He had never seen Thranduil look so happy as he watched the Hobbits dance, Glofindel leaning heavily on his shoulder.
"Thorin! Come join us." Biblo called out, his eyes glowing with joy. He didn't need to be told twice as he yanked off his boots.
"Irak'adad! You're taking your boots off?" Fili sounded scandalized as he watched him.
"I would hate to step on Irak'amad's feet." He explained and his nephews giggled before copying him.
"We want to dance too!" Bilbo's Mother held her arms open before shouting "Come dance with Granny, boys!" He followed his laughing nephews and took Bilbo's hand, making sure to kiss the back of it.
"Make sure you don't let go, Thorin." Bilbo said seriously while gazing into his eyes. Thorin swore his heart was going to give out from such a look. They danced the night away, his family mingling with Bilbo's. Lobelia had challenged Dwalin to an arm wrestling contest and he hadn't seen who had won. Frerin ended up making eyes at Glorfindel while Thranduil watched in amusement.
"Bilbo works fast, doesn't he?" Grandmother Baggins said as she stared him down. Bilbo was showing Dis the perfect bread to meat ratio for a sandwich and he blinked at her in confusion.
"I don't understand, Elder?" She rolled her eyes before pinching his ear.
"You will address me as Grandmother, boy. By holding onto your hand during the dance, Bilbo made his intentions clear. Hobbit custom states by binding your hands, you announce your intention to bind your lives. If you should let go, your union would have ended before it even began. I shouldn't be surprised, Bilbo has always been decisive." Thorin couldn't help his sappy smile at his Kurdu .
"I love him with my whole being. If I was forced to choose between my Kingdom and Bilbo, I would choose him without hesitation." He told the old woman and she patted his hand.
"Good." Bilbo came over and sat down beside him, lacing their fingers together. Now that Thorin knew the significance behind it, he held his hand tighter.
"You have twelve siblings?" His Father looked joyful as Granny Took laughed.
"Her da wanted one more but I told him I would cut it off if he so much as kissed me!" Fundin looked like he was going to faint at the news.
"So many children! What a blessing." He murmured softly, the other Dwarfs agreeing. His nephews started yawning before Dis stood up.
"I think it is time for bed for young pebbles." The boys pouted before Bilbo's da softly cleared his throat.
"Perhaps I could tell you a bedtime story? Did you know Hobbits invented golf?" His voice faded as his wife followed him. Thorin quickly stood up before bowing low as he peeked up at his Amrâlimê.
"I would like to escort you to your room?" He asked and the Hobbits catcalled them before Bilbo gave them a rude hand gesture.
"I would like that." They were silent as they walked down the hallway, guards whispering encouragements.
"I hope you have a good night." He said and Bilbo rolled his eyes before pulling him into his room.
"Lay down, please." He said politely and Thorin did as he was told. He would do anything Bilbo asked of him. Thank Mahal, he had forgotten to put his boots back on. Bilbo wiggled into bed before laying his head on his chest, his hand buried in his hair. Their intimate moment was interrupted by Bilbo's stomach growling. He laughed before digging around in his pocket. He knew better than to keep a hungry hobbit waiting as he dropped the tea cake he had brought.
"You're so sweet!" He said before digging in. He still had crumbs on his face as he started snoring. Thorin tenderly wrapped his arms around him before closing his eyes, his chest warm with happiness.