The Centurion's Woman

Chapter 23

ALEX COULDN'T FIGHT him. She was exhausted and her insides ached, burned, or stabbingly hurt. She kept saying no to him, but he just held her firmly, gently, and kept quietly repeating 'Alex Traversi' every time she said no. She passed out in his arms, still telling him no.

        Alex awoke surrounded by water. It was an old dream, a bad memory of when she'd almost drowned as a small child. She'd been around five years old, watching the fish in the lake, and been bumped off the dock by some other kids that were playing. Not knowing how to swim, she'd sunk immediately. Her parents had been on the beach. The water had been well over her head, and she'd been fighting to breathe, suffocating under the reflection of the blue, sunny sky. Then she wasn't fighting anymore, and the sunny sky was fading.

        In reality, her gigno had heard the splash and seen she was no longer on the dock. He'd run to where the children were playing and seen her through the clear water. It only came up to his chest when he jumped in and pulled her up. In her memory, she just saw the light fading, and then her gigno's arms had pulled her back into the warm sun. She'd puked up more water than she ever wanted to see again, and her momma had taken them to the nearest hospital. The next day she was safe at home completely healthy. A week later she started swimming lessons, her gigno holding her in the water as she fought and screamed to get out. She'd learned to swim well over the following years, though, eventually taking up cliff diving in her early twenties.

        In the dream, she was usually again a small girl, trapped in the grips of the cool lake water. Before her gigno disappeared, his strong arms always pulled her up. Once he was gone, the dream became persistent that no rescue came for her. She'd usually woken up gasping and screaming for her gigno. At the end of her marriage, she usually dreamt of herself as a grown woman, and her husband, Jeremy, was often in the dream, holding her legs and keeping her under the water.

        Now the dream varied. Sometimes she was a small girl, sometimes a grown woman. Sometimes her gigno was there with rescue, sometimes not. Sometimes she even remembered how to swim and saved herself. Sometimes she was standing on the beach with her parents, watching the scene as she felt the horrible weight of the water in her lungs.

        This time, she was a grown woman. She remembered how to swim, but her legs were trapped. When she looked down it was to see that Jeremy held one of her legs, and Mark held the other. They were both grinning up at her, smiles stretched to gruesome proportions. She fought against them, against the crushing weight of the water, but they pulled her deeper. Suddenly strong arms pulled her up and the warm sun burned the hands off her legs. She gagged and coughed on the memory of the water, still trapped in the same sunny day. When she turned and looked at who held her, it wasn't her gigno.

                                                                ***

        Alex's thrashing woke him suddenly, and he sat up and quickly scanned the room. She was fighting a dream. Fearing for her existing injuries, Ixillius pulled her up into his arms and held her at shoulder and hip. She gasped, coughed as if choking, and then quieted.

        "Ixillius?" she said, against his chest.

        "I'm here. I have you." He kissed the top of her head. "I have you. You're safe."

        "They were holding me under the water by my legs. I couldn't get away."

        He froze, shocked.

        "You're safe now," he finally managed to say.

        She relaxed against him.

        "Why is the water always so cold?" she asked, shivering.

        Seeing her eyes were still closed, he lay her back down and pulled the blanket up around both of them. She curled against him.

        "Why is the water always so cold?" she asked again. "The day was so warm."

        "Who was holding you under the water?" he asked.

        "Jeremy and Mark. They're bad men. I couldn't get away."

        "You're safe now, Alex. You're with me, with Ixillius." She pressed closer to him, soundly asleep.

        "Don't leave."

        He kissed her head again.

        "Never," he replied, wrapping his arms around her, his head spinning with the conversation. "I love you," he said.

        "You can't. You don't know. You won't love me if you know. You'll leave, too. Don't leave."

        He held her as tightly as he dared.

        "Never."

        Alex settled back into deep slumber quickly. Ixillius lay awake, wondering if she would remember any of this in the morning.

        "Alex Traversi," he whispered to her.

        "No. Alexandria."

        He'd thought her completely asleep when her whole body stiffened and she cried out in fear and pain.

        "Alex! Alex!" he called, trying to break through her sleep into the dream as she fought. "Alexandria!"

        She stilled against him.

        "Ixillius?" she asked, her voice frightened, then she clung to his arm and curled tightly against him again.

        "I'm here. You're safe," he soothed.

        "Ixillius Traversi. Don't leave."

        The hour wore long before he was able to find sleep, and then only fitfully. Each of her movements caused him to rouse fully, trying to talk to her, but she didn't reply again.