Grey Eyes: Book One of the Forever Trilogy

Chapter Thirty One

“T-Tristan…I…” I stammered, desperately searching for the right words for what I was trying to convey.  He wasn’t aware of the decision I’d made, and I couldn’t bring myself to say the words immediately after he’d just saved my life.  It had been hard enough to tell him that I’d killed Aiden.  Still, I owed him my honesty, and that meant telling him that Aiden’s forcing me to choose had made me aware of something—if given the choice, I wanted to spend whatever time I had left with Darren.  Tristan was right; I didn’t know why I loved him, I just that I did.  With Darren, it was different—different because there were no doubts or mysteries surrounding my feelings for him.  I remembered every moment.  But how to say it?  How to make him understand?

He stared at me for a moment, with saddened eyes that seemed to be reading me like an open book.  “It’s okay, Ana.  It’s better this way, I suppose.  Could we have a quick word?”

I didn’t catch his meaning at first, probably because his meaning was the last thing I expected him to want.  He was asking for a moment alone with Darren, not me.  Confused, I nodded and started toward my door, looking back over my shoulder the entire time, lest some kind of confrontation start up.  Once outside, I pressed my ear right up to the door, but the only thing I heard was Tristan asking Darren to step outside onto the balcony because “she’s definitely got her ear up to the door right now.”

Busted, I let myself slide down onto the floor.  Was Darren the right choice?  Would I regret this decision later?  Despite everything, I knew in my heart that the first answer was “yes.”  We hadn’t known each other long enough to say we were in love or anything, but we had a spark, a spark that was mine, and I had to protect it—even when the feelings I had for Tristan raged inside of me like a runaway fire. I found myself smiling, thinking back to Darren and me splashing one another in the pond out back.  He was my soft place to fall.  He made me laugh and did what he could to protect me.  I was happy when I was with him and that was the biggest difference; where Tristan was concerned, I only had stories and dreams of he and I being happy.  That wasn’t enough.  I cared for Tristan—I loved him— but it wasn’t me who fell in love with him, no matter how strong the feelings were.  Still, the best answer I could give to my second question was a “maybe.”  Honestly, that frightened me a little.

Darren appeared to be in a daze when the door to my room finally opened up. 

I jumped to my feet.  “What’s wrong?  What happened?”

It took a moment for him to meet my eyes.  “He told me about you two, the whole reincarnation thing—how we’re on the same side as far as keeping you safe.  He also told me that…”  He dropped his eyes and let his voice trail off.

“I’m going to die soon,” I finished.  I felt both guilty and relieved that he’d had to hear it from someone else.

“What?  No.  He said that you made the right choice.  That now you can have a full and happy life—that he would take care of everything.  Why do you think you’re gonna die?”

He must have taken my words to be a complete statement rather than a continuation of what he was saying.  There was real concern in Darren’s eyes as he spoke to me, but I was too confused to answer him.  Was choosing Tristan really the reason I kept dying so young?  But why?   And how?

“If you’re worried that they’ll come after you again, don’t be.  A number of us are gonna stay here until things settle down.  Nothing like this’ll ever happen again, I promise you.  

I just nodded.  Telling him what I had actually meant probably wasn’t a good idea right now, especially if there was a chance it didn’t apply anymore.