I Am Seer - Book 3

Chapter 11 - What Cannot be Undone Must Be Shouldered By Those Left Behind

"Are you seriously thinking we can do this?" Ha-Won massaged his temples. "I don't think it's a good idea."

"It's not about being a 'good idea'." I said firmly. "This is our only option."

"But it's not!" He cried.

"It is to me." I looked him unflinchingly in the eyes.

A little over an hour had passed since I'd left Ayan to the care of the Eighth's best physicians, and Ha-Won had been trying to reason with me for the better part of that hour. I could tell there was more to his insistence that I didn't go than he was letting on, but he didn't seem inclined to clearly state what he was thinking, so we were stuck at an impasse—going back and forth with one another as if our positions would change. The thing was: he was fighting against the months of training he'd administered to me, and I wasn't small enough anymore to just give in.

"If you do this, there's every possibility that you won't come back." He sat heavily on the edge of the balcony railing, and he didn't look at me.

"So you've said. Dozens of times." I raised a brow. "And I've told you: that's a risk I'm willing to take. If I die the moment I set foot in The Below, then it's clear that I never would have made it through the battles to come, anyway."

"But I can't let you—" His voice cut off, and he raised his eyes once more to stare at me. "I can't let him destroy you."

"Because of what happened to my father?" I turned to look out over the sunset-stained cliffs. "You're worried that your brother will somehow foil everything before it even has the chance to get started again?"

"No—yes—it's not quite that simple." He sighed heavily. "You've never asked for details about that time, and I've never willingly offered you more than the basics, but the truth is: my brother knows as much or more about you than I do. He and your father were thicker than thieves in the beginning. Everything I know about what training you needed is through association with them."

I hadn't asked much about the past. Once I'd learned the truth of who I was and who my parents had been, the details of what exactly had happened to them hadn't seemed to matter that much in the face of what the future could be. Plus, with the addition of my vividly violent dreams of those days, I didn't want to feed more information into my brain that could feed the detailed nature of those visions.

"Their friendship was utterly destroyed because of my brother, and I'm afraid that if you go down there, it will only bring back painful memories that will make him want nothing more than to destroy you on the spot." Ha-Won closed his eyes, massaging his temples as if to relieve the pain of the old memories.

"Ha-Won." I said gently, moving to lean against the railing beside him. "The past is painful for us all which is exactly why we have to join together to fight for a better future. Keeping your brother in check might just be the best way to begin moving forward."

"But you've not trained enough—not nearly enough—to be able to face his brutality." He looked over at me with his dark eyes full of concern. "And I don't believe this is your battle to fight, anyway. I've always known I would have to deal with my brother one day, but that's just the thing: I should take care of the mess he's made. It's not something that should rest on your shoulders."

"He made it into my battle when he took my friends." My voice sounded foreign and cold, and my hands curled into fists of their own accord. "I won't say it again: I cannot simply sit here knowing what he's doing to Kotaro."

"And you will go even knowing that it will bring your doom and the possibility of your death that much nearer?" The question was rhetorical, but I nodded anyway. "You're so like your father." He murmured, eyes searching my face as if he was meeting me for the first time. "He knew what his actions would mean, but he couldn't avoid doing what he thought was right. I always admired him for it until—" He drew a breath, looking away from me.