Pull My Heartstrings

Chapter 5

I hope this is extra long, because I've been writing for the past two days or so hehe

vote or comment... or both!

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Chapter 5

"Rowan, snap out of it!" Kari yanked the comforter off of me, revealing a mess of empty candy wrappers, tissues, and dirty clothes. "Geez, Rowan, you really let yourself go!"

I glared at her, curling tighter into my shivering body. Finn hadn't tried to talk to me for weeks. All I did was see clients and lay in bed. The lost contact between me and my mate was taking a toll. I was depressed, weak, and my mood swung all over the place. I hated not being able to muster the will to do anything enthusiastically besides stuffing my face with chocolate and crying, and I really hated how much energy being cranky used. I need my mate.

"I can't believe you, Miss I'm-too-cool-for-a-mate," Kari dragged in a trashcan and swept everything into it.

"Hey," I protested, reaching for a shirt that she was throwing away without a care in the world. "That's my shirt."

"Yeah? It was? Sorry, I only saw a wimp's shirt," she raved. "You really don't deserve what I'm doing for you."

"What? You're throwing my clothes away..."

"That's not it." As suddenly as Kari had appeared, she disappeared, only to be replaced by Finn at the doorway. My eyes widened, dropped to my scanty pajama shorts and tank top, and flew back to his face. He didn't look happy, so I knew not all was well and peachy.

"Don't cover yourself," Finn growled, dropping on the bed next to me. He didn't say anything else.

I mentally shrugged and scooted closer to my mate, feeling better emotionally. "I'm sorry, I was wrong," I said. I didn't know what I was saying, or where I was going with it; I only knew that I had to say something to justify myself, to make things better. "If it's not too late --"

"It is too late," Finn stated flatly. "I only came because I needed my strength back."

"Oh," I said quietly. Moment officially killed. "Then you don't want me."

"You didn't want me a couple weeks ago, and now I feel the same. Is that a crime?" he scoffed. "I think I should be able to last another week or so."

"So we won't ever be mated," I said forlornly. How had I managed to lose everything? My mother, the one alpha that cared for me, and now... my mate – they were all gone. It was even worse this time because I knew it was my fault. “What do you want from me?”

Finn was quiet for a while. I felt tears well up; I knew I had it coming, but being rejected still hurt. Karma really is a bitch. “A weekly meeting. We both have responsibilities and we both need our strength. If we meet every so often, we can solve our problem.”

That’s not my only problem, I thought as my chest ached. Now I felt stronger, physically, but my emotions were shattered. How could he waltz in and break my heart so effectively? I hurriedly wiped away a tear. This sucks. When I looked up, Finn was leaving. He gave me one last disinterested look before exiting. I heard the apartment door open and close with a swoosh of air and I knew I had well and truly lost him.

“Are you okay?” Kari poked her head into the doorway. I shook my head, tears falling from my eyes. Was this how he felt when I kept rejecting him? I couldn’t believe I had inflicted this on someone else. “That jerk,” Kari said as she gathered me into her arms.

“Hey, cheer up,” she said sadly. “That jerk doesn’t deserve you. Just a few weeks ago you were saying that you didn’t need him, what happened to that? I think you can still do it, hun.”