Blood and Water | Neteyam

Bitter Words ∼ 27

"Damnit," Tcelia swore as a small bead of blood welled up on the tip of her pointer finger. She put her finger in her mouth, immediately tasting the tang of metal.

Rotxo looked over at her with concern, "Maybe you should take a break for a minute," he faced his palm skyward, indicating for Tcelia to give him the needle which Tcelia did reluctantly. The sun had been shining brightly all morning, casting a warm glow over the sandy beach, juxtaposing Tcelia's sour mood.

She had barely gotten any sleep yesterday, tossing and turning, as she had listened to Neteyam's even breathing.

He hadn't even been in the pod when Tcelia and Kiri had entered after they had talked – Neytiri told her that he and Lo'ak was helping Tsireya by the bonfire when Tcelia had asked where he was – and Tcelia had decided to rest whilst waiting for him.

Lo'ak and Neteyam had returned after the rest of the family had gone to bed. She had felt Neteyam's eyes on her as she pretended to be asleep, not prepared to face him yet, and she had heard him let out a long breath before he had shuffled around, getting comfortable on his sleeping mat.

After that, all her senses had become hyperaware of any move and noise he made, and Tcelia could even pinpoint the exact moment he had fallen asleep, irregular breathing switching to a steady, slow intake of air.

She hated feeling the way she did, wishing with every passing moment that she could just go back to being ignorant and oblivious to her own feelings. But ever since she had allowed herself to admit that she liked him, she had slowly begun to realize how long those feelings had existed, hiding just underneath the surface. It was strange, having finally acknowledged the feelings she had been harboring for so long. Especially because it was Neteyam. Neteyam, who she had known her entire life and never allowed herself to think of in any way other than in friendship.

She had been in denial for so long that it was almost a relief to finally admit her feelings to herself. And she could now also recognize why her subconscious had been suppressing and rejecting her feelings for him; She didn't dare risk her relationship with him and his family. After her mother's death, the Sullies were the only people Tcelia had left – Neytiri and Jake had taken her in and treated her as a daughter. Even if there was a chance of Neteyam loving her back, could she really take that risk and put her relationships with the rest of the family in jeopardy? What if Jake and Neytiri wouldn't like her as a mate for Neteyam? He was their first born after all, meant to lead the Omatikaya clan. He needed a suitable mate and Tcelia wasn't sure if she had the ability to be that for him.

Then there were Lo'ak, Kiri and Tuk who would be caught in the middle of it all, maybe even forced to choose between Tcelia and Neteyam if the situation went too far. They'd choose Neteyam of course, as they should, and Tcelia would be forced to leave her closest friends behind.

The absolute worst thing about the whole situation, was that Tcelia knew that if she did confess her feelings to Neteyam and he was to reject her, their relationship would be altered forever. He would pity her, and their dynamic would never be the same again. Though Tcelia's heart sped up by just the thought of him, she couldn't risk it. She'd rather live with unrequited love than live without Neteyam and the rest of his family. Maybe now where she had finally allowed herself to acknowledge her feelings, she could learn to let go and move on. She doubted it though.

"You have been acting strange all morning," Rotxo narrowed his eyes as he spoke, yanking Tcelia out of her thoughts, "Has something happened?"

Tcelia faked a yawn, trying to seem indifferent, "I am only tired. I barely got any sleep last night."

She had planned on drawing Neteyam to the side when she had woken up, she really had. But Tuk had taken her by the arm and begged her to start the bracelet she had been promised, and Tcelia couldn't say no to those big eyes. She had shot an apologetic shrug towards Kiri who had looked after her with a stern glare as Tcelia had left with Tuk.