After finding a razor in my pocket and using it on my arm with no thoughts going through my mind, I walk home sluggishly. I think it's about 8am at this point, but I couldn't care less. I just wanna get home and lie down. I don't know why I relapsed, but I wanted to feel something. The past 24 hours haven't felt like anything except mental pain.
"pain in the body quiets the pain in the head", right?
-
As I approach the front door of mine and Tom's house, I feel anxiety overcome my every nerve. I have no idea how my people will react to any of this. They might believe me when I say I went out, but then they'd be angry. I could tell the truth, but they'd call the cops. I could simply become non-verbal. That seems to be the least life threatening option so far.
I open the door, which stayed unlocked, and hear the TV. I take off my boots and hang up my jacket, and head to the kitchen for some water. When I enter the kitchen though, I see a note from Tom.
Hey, I've headed out with Toby.
He decided to leave early, so I
said I'm going with him. He
said I'm not allowed to, but I
went with him anyways.
With hatred,
Tom Holland
He still signs his notes with that. That's fucking adorable.
"Tommy, I think- oh. It's just you." Will says as he enters the kitchen and notices I'm here. "Hey. Uhh, about last night, I went-"
"Yeah, we know. You went out and apparently had loads of fun with a guy, huh? The hickeys are visible through your fucking makeup, Y/n. You know, it would've been nice to know you didn't want a relationship with me before I asked you out, but this is not the way to go about it." Will says coldly.
"What?" I cry.
"What? Do you wanna feed me some sob story about how you've been through enough? I know you've been through some fucked up shit, but this is not the way someone deals with mental illness. I thought we had something, Y/n, but apparently it didn't mean jack shit to you." he says angrily.
"YOU DIDN'T EVEN GIVE ME A CHANCE TO EXPLAIN!" I scream.
"EXPLAIN HOW YOU LITERALLY DISAPPEARED WITHOUT A TRACE AND... BASICALLY CHEATED ON ME?" he cries.
"NO, WILL. EXPLAIN HOW I WENT TO BUY FLOWERS FOR YOU AND WAS BASICALLY KIDNAPPED BY JARED, THROWN INTO HIS CAR AND RAPED FOR EIGHT HOURS BY HIM AND ANOTHER MAN, BUT, YOU KNOW WHAT, I ASKED FOR IT, YEAH? I WANTED TO GET RAPED, RIGHT? I WANTED TO GET ABUSED TO THE POINT OF BARELY BREATHING, YEAH?"
"Flowers?"
"IS THAT THE ONLY THING YOU HEARD? OKAY, THEN THAT'S WHAT I'LL EXPLAIN! I WENT TO GO BUY YOU FLOWERS AS AN APOLOGY FOR NOT TELLING YOU THAT... it's my fucking birthday today... my stupid, bullshit filled, fucking birthday..."
I start sobbing, running up to my room. I hear Wilbur trying to follow me and that's when my body gives in. I fall to my knees and sob into my palms. "Y/N!" Will yells out and runs up to me, embracing me in the tightest hug ever. I said I'd never let a man touch me after those 8 ungodly hours, but this man... this is my man.
"I'm so fucking sorry, Y/n! I'm so, so, so, so, so fucking sorry... I'm so, so sorry... Please forgive me, my love... please... I'm here... I'll always be here, remember?" he says as he takes my hand and kisses the ring on it. My hand, being bruised, hurts, so I wince in pain. "What's wrong?" he asks, oblivious to the makeup all over.
"I'm... extremely physically abused..." I say, with a chuckle at my choice of words. Wilbur, however does not find it funny. "I think I should run. Only someone psychotic would laugh at that." he says with a pitiful smile. It's clear he's worried, but one thing isn't clear to me.
"Why did you not call or text? I was missing for eight hours, yet I checked my phone to see no new notifications. I felt unneeded." I say, genuinely sad. "Well... I thought you had gone out... and I thought you were out with some guy..." he says. "Really?" I break out of his arms and get up, hurt.
"Y/n, it's just... you... I don't know..." Will says. "So you mean to tell me that your, I'm presuming, love interest was gone without a trace and she just happened to have a rapist nearby who has been taunting her for most of her adulthood and all you thought of was how she was being bad to you? Unbelievable..." I say, heading upstairs to my room.
I love Will.
I love Wilbur.
I love William.
So where is he?
This isn't the guy I fell in love with. He wasn't selfish. He cared about me. He could tell when something was up, but this guy clearly can't. Or...
"Y/n, I'm sorry... I just... a friend of mine... of you as well... passed aw- away..."
My attention immediately shifts to Wilbur, tears filling my eyes without even knowing who he was talking about. "Who? How? When? Why don't I know? Who? WILBUR, WHO, WHEN, HOW?" I scream, unable to process my emotions. Everything becomes hazy as he reveals all of my questions.
"Techno... yesterday evening... we found out after you left and we tried calling you, but your phone was offline and... he got into a car accident..."
My brain becomes hazy and my whole world stops spinning.
"Why didn't you tell me when I came back? Why were you so calm?"
And
"I'm... not... well..."
I'm out.
——————
this is too painful to write an a/n to...
im sobbing atm, so... #technobladeneverdies
YOU ARE READING
"she plays guitar?" wilbur soot x reader
Fanfictiontommyinnit's sister was the one to introduce him to twitch and youtube. without her, tommyinnit would be just another youtuber, but now he has one of the biggest channels on the whole platform. as she comes back home from a year in Germany, she gets...
